109-Year Old Takes Advantage Of 'Take Your Age As A Percentage Off Your Bill' Deal At Restaurant For Her Birthday, Gets Paid To Eat There

September 5, 2018

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109-year old Montana woman Helen Self celebrated her most recent birthday with a dinner at the Montana Club restaurant, which honors birthdays by allowing a patron to take their age as a percentage off their bill (i.e. if you're turning 30, you get 30% off). But since Helen was turning 109, she ate her shrimp dinner (she opted for no steak this year) for free and got 9% of the cost of her meal returned to her in cash (rounded up to a whopping $2). A sweet deal! I mean, provided you're cool being 109, which I am not. The 100's and 200's were both hard for me. "That's right -- I forgot you were a 400-year old undead warlock!" That hurts, just how many other undead warlocks are you friends with? "A couple?" Those people are liars. "And you?" I am the only undead warlock you know.

Keep going for a local news report about the momentous occasion, or follow the link in the article if it doesn't want to work because it's a turd.

Thanks again to Closet Nerd, who's really been killing it the past two days with tips, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE. You, I'm talking about you. Unless you're Closet Nerd, then I'm talking about everyone else.

  • Did anyone check her ID? She looks 80 to me.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    She also used a coupon.

  • Jenness

    This is actually a really good idea. I remember when Denny's had a free meal on your birthday and that was so awesome. *sighs*

  • TheQiwiMan

    It's stuff like this that helped her live to be so old.

    Smart broad.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    that title is the real mouthful. ZING!

  • Closet Nerd

    Imagine if it said "her" instead of "here"

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Do you mean instead of "there"?

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