WTF!: Man Impaled By Tree Through Shoulder Poses For Pictures At Hospital, Jokingly Tells Doctors "I Am Groot!"

August 3, 2018

groot-irl-4.jpg

Note: A couple more censored shots HERE, HERE and HERE but follow the links in the article if you really want to see more (not for the squeamish).

These are several shots of 36-year old Belarusian paraglider enthusiast Ivan Krasouski after being impaled by a tree through his shoulder. Apparently Ivan was out flying in his homemade ROFLglider when a chute line snapped, sending him spinning out of control into the forest below where an Ent reached out a branch to say hello, impaling him. Man, I'm getting faint just trying to write this.

[Ivan] was cut free by rescuers after he crashed a paraglider near Olshany, Belarus. He posed for photos at a nearby hospital with the huge log still stuck in his shoulder, telling doctors "I am Groot!"

Dear God. He really took it like a champ though. I even saw some female commenters on another site asking if they were able to save his arm (they were) and possibly some sperm. The man is at least part superhuman, after all. Honestly, I can't say for certain I wouldn't have rather taken that branch through the heart than the shoulder, but I am a vampire and that is one of the very few ways I can die. "Awww, what's the matter, GW?" I'm 800 years old, I have to wear denture fangs and I dribble pee constantly.

Thanks to Orcbutt, for leading me to believe Ents might not be the friends I once thought they were.

  • pseudo gamer

    tthats a big splinter

  • Deksam

    RIP Yondu.

  • Javier Arreola

    I can see that guy's big hard wood

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    It's a good thing that his doctor wasn't Zoidberg.

    https://www.youtube.com/wat...

  • Jenness

    Gotta love guys - you can pull off something like this but then get a case of the sniffles and you whine in bed for days on end.

  • TheQiwiMan

    ... sounds like you haven’t lived with the right kinda guys, sis.

  • jimmycleaver

    Pffft look at this dude, that log impalement must of felt like a scratch to him and probably swims in molten lava to get that awesome tan!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.
  • paperboy

    I was gonna say either a paragliding accident or meth stuff.

  • Munihausen

    In soviet Belorussia, tree chop you!

  • Douchy McDouche

    What's with the pixels? Is this Japanese porn?

  • GeneralDisorder

    Guy's got bush.

  • Draco Basileus

    Somebody get the tweezers.

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    OH MY GOD!!!!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Holy crap!

    Well I guess a tree through the shoulder is still better than, you know, death.

  • Bling Nye

    Pretty obvious he likes paragliding because it gives him wood.

  • ward00

    That's not a silly Russian, it's a crazy Russian.

  • Douchy McDouche

    Because Belarus and Russia are the same country. Like USA and Canada.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Woah... wait a minute? You mean to tell me that Canada isn't part of the US? Fuck me running! (side note: my ex wife asked me if Canada was a country once... she wasn't drunk. Just stupid).

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    You're living up to your name. You're not wrong, but at least your name is apt.

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