Two Old Men Escape Nursing Home, Are Found At 3AM At A Heavy Metal Festival

August 6, 2018


Two elderly men recently escaped from their nursing home in Germany (possibly via getaway mobility scooter) and were found by police hours later at 3AM at the Wacken Open Air heavy metal festival (the world's largest), because you're never too old to throw some pointy elbows in a mosh pit.

A police spokeswoman said they were in a "disoriented and dazed" state but nonetheless were reluctant to leave, Deutsche Welle reported.

Eventually, they were persuaded to leave and police escorted them home with the help of a taxi and a patrol car.

"They obviously liked the metal festival," police spokeswoman Merle Neufeld told public broadcaster Norddeutscher Rundfunk.

Well of course they were reluctant to leave, they were probably having the time of their geriatric lives. I only hope when I'm 200 I still have the energy to sneak out of the nursing home and party into the wee hours of the morning. I doubt I will though based on how tired I always am already. I get into bed before it's even dark out. The last time I tried to stay up past midnight I fell asleep at 8:30 and woke up in 2018.

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who agrees the police really should have organized a stage-dive for these two hellhounds.

  • Bling Nye

    The nursing home tried to destroy the metal, but metal had its way.

  • GeneralDisorder

    No word on whether they paid to get in. I'm thinking they didn't and nobody stopped them because "eh, they're old..."

    If I were standing at the gate checking tickets and a pair of old guys showed up I wouldn't even ask. I'd let them through and be proud of that decision.

  • sizzlepants

    Well considering Judas Priest is a headliner a bunch of geriatrics seems like the right crowd (they've been around since '69 - as in the band turns 50 next year).

  • Kevin

    Were they dressed as members of the Foo Fighters?

  • Doog

    Hope old are Wayne and Garth now?

  • Eric Ord

    Makes sense being that the kids don't listen to the heavy music anymore.

  • ShartInYourJacuzzi

    Jesus let the old guys fucking rock out if they want! What assholes.

  • Jenness

    That's what I thought

  • Mark

    Were they dressed as members of the Foo Fighters?

  • Closet Nerd

    We'll chill at a Phish concert when we're 90...

  • James Mcelroy

    when you're 200? I thought you were an 800 year old warlock...I'm sorry, you shaken my core reality, i need some time.

  • Irina Abramovich

    I GUESSED.... GW was a 12 year old girl who listens to Justin Bieber... Guess not. Guess some people are bad at guessing.

  • Geekologie

    take all the time you need

  • TheQiwiMan

    One of the men has already been identified:

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