Russian Weapons Manufacturer Unveils Super Questionable Looking 5-Ton Mech

August 22, 2018

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Because somebody has clearly been watching too much Robocop, these are several shots of the 13-foot tall, 5-ton mech recently unveiled by Russian weapons manufacturer Kalashnikov (of AK-47 fame). Named Igorek (presumably as in, "I go wreck things now"), the whole thing looks like a giant turd to me but can allegedly accommodate several pilots protected by bulletproof glass (which look suspiciously like plexiglass), hold weapons in its hands (although how effectively if at all is up for debate), and walk on two legs. Honestly, based on its look and the fact there's no video and that it's standing on a giant metal base it's probably welded to, my guess is this is just a nonfunctional statue. I've seen more menacing scrap metal sculptures in people's yards before. And those legs -- who would actually build a mech with legs like that? This thing would be so easy to topple, and then it's helpless on the ground like a t-rex, except at least a t-rex still has its tail to help it get back up. This thing would just be a sitting duck. And not a sexy one like Daisy Duck either, but one time she did show me her underwear Basic Instinct style. *angry, incomprehensible chatter* You were on a break, Donald!

Keep going for a couple more shots.

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Thanks to Thaylor H, who agrees has the tow-cable AT-AT toppling scene from The Empire Strikes Back taught mech designers nothing?

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