'Potentially Hazardous' Asteroid To Fly By Earth (At A Distance of 3,000,000 Miles)

August 27, 2018


Note: Artist's rendition above 100% inaccurate in regards to distance to earth.

NASA has announced a 'potentially hazardous' asteroid will pass by earth on August 29th, at a distance of a little over 3,000,000 miles. That's pretty far away. Man, how crazy would it be if there was actually an asteroid on a collision course with earth? Because I feel like that would be pretty nuts. Also exhilarating.

The enormous space rock, known as asteroid 2016 NF23 and estimated to be between 230 and 525 feet in diameter, will zip past Earth on Aug. 29 at a velocity of 9.04 kilometers per second, or approximately 20,000 miles per hour, the government space agency said on its Earth Close Approaches page.

Near-Earth objects regularly fly by the planet, though "potentially hazardous objects" are ones that are less than 0.05 au (astronomical units) away from the planet, or approximately 5 million miles.

Any asteroid that comes within 4.6 million miles of Earth with a diameter greater than 500 feet is termed "potentially hazardous," according to NASA.

I only hope my meteor magnet will be powerful enough to attract the rock and finally put an end to life here on earth. "Why would you wish that?" We deserve to be dinosaured. "Speak for yourself." I SPEAK FOR ALL PEOPLE. "Really? Who died and made you earth ambassador? Captain Planet told me on his deathbed.

Thanks to Irina, who agrees we should have at least sent somebody to try to ride the meteor.

  • JJtoob

    Shit, I missed this by a couple days...

  • Gary Allen

    There is nothing to fear from this.


  • Lydia Grace

    I am scared and I am only 14. I am staying up until 1AM on Wednesday as I am freaked out. Does this mean we won't die?

  • JJtoob

    Welcome to another day of life ;)

  • shashi

    Just FYI: the moon is very much bigger than this thing and much much (MUCH) closer to earth. Also our moon is far away.

    In this video ( https://www.youtube.com/wat... ) the asteroid would be the size of a bacteria cell and completely outside the park. You're actually more likely to be killed by the bacteria cell than the asteroid because we're running out of antibiotics that work effectively and when a really dangerous type of bacteria does emerge it will probably kill many millions of people because we all travel so much and live really close to each other in big cities.

    So you see: you shouldn't be worried...

    ... about the asteroid...

    ... unless it's carrying bacteria

  • Jenness

    No one's going to die. There have been thousands of these things that go past us all the time and this is just one of them.

    However to be extra careful you need to do the following:
    1) Love your parents and give them extra hugs at night and say something nice to them. If you do this every night you lessen your chance of dying by meteors.

    2) Be nice to any siblings for the reason above.

    3) Study hard and do well in school, it actually does kind of count and also lessens meteor death.

    4) Don't do drugs or have sex before marriage. Meteors kill those godless heathens first.

    There - you'll be fine. Unless of course you've already broken rule 4 and in that case you need to do 1, 2 and 3 a lot better and NO MORE 4!!!

  • Eric Ord

    Are you telling her to do drugs once she gets married?!

  • Jenness

    Only if she marries someone like you and needs to in order to handle your first obsession.

  • Eric Ord

    Some argue it's actually a BEST obsession

  • GeneralDisorder

    Okay, I just said the answer is always "have an orgy just in case" but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to come up with a different answer here.

    You should definitely stay awake. Watch the skies. Let the adults know if there's anything weird going on. Jesus, I was probably drunk when you were born. Get off my lawn!

  • adsffda

    can we see it?

  • Munihausen

    Most of that would burn up in the atmosphere. What was left might hit the ground and be confused with other steaming piles in your local urban center.

  • Lydia Grace

    True, true. But I am still fearing over it.

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    We should have an orgy just in case

  • GeneralDisorder

    This is literally always the answer to every what-if question no matter how mundane or unlikely.

    E.g. "what if having this orgy spreads a super STD and kills all the participants".

    Answer: We should have an orgy just in case.

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    But you'd feel so silly if it didn't and you didn't get to participate.

  • Fartbutt

    Ha! Dinosaured. I for one would love to witness being dinosaured. Smokin' a fatty, chugging some whiskey, drop a little acid, trip on some pcp, nibble on shrooms, inject the meth, snort the coke, roll on molly, whip it good and then bath salts. ...Maybe only the first 2

  • shashi

    i wouldn't do all those drugs...

    ...just the ones i got my hands on.

  • Closet Nerd

    Captain Planet is dead?!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Mullets are sentient creatures and we should respect their autonomy. If the mullet doesn't want to be a weird blue-green and fly around on some super-dick's head who are we to judge?

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