Oh, Florida: Couple Get Busted After Setting Up A Drive-Thru Window In Their Mobile Home To Sell Drugs

August 31, 2018


Because successful entrepreneurs think outside the box, a couple in Ocala, Florida were recently arrested after using a kitchen window in the their mobile home as a drive-thru for drug sales. Man, just when you think you've heard it all, Florida Man and Woman deliver the goods.

Ocala Police said the couple had turned a kitchen window into a drive-thru so customers would not have to constantly enter and exit their home, potentially drawing unwanted attention, WFTV reported. The house had signs directing people where to drive and indicated whether it was open or closed, police said.

"We were seeing some overdose incidents that were happening in this particular area, specifically at this particular location," said Ocala Police Capt. Steven Cuppy. "There [were] some heroin sales that were going on there. Subsequently, through the investigation, we were able to determine that product was laced with fentanyl."

Wait -- there were signs directing people where to drive? That's a solid operation. Do you think there was a menu and you ordered through a speaker too? I sure hope so. Personally, I would have opted for girls delivering drugs on roller skates like at Sonic, but that's just me and I like my drug sales to have that 1950's carhop feel to them. I believe buying drugs should be an experience, not just a shady business interaction.

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who agrees when Florida Man puts his mind to it, there's no limit to the ways he can get arrested.

  • Walt Mistler

    The old "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Reality knocks the ladder out from under you.

  • Jenness

    Laced with Fentanyl? That drug is so powerful and dangerous why on earth would you lace heroin of all things with that?? Wait - why am I even surprised, they put a drive through window on their house to be 'less' suspicious. Florida...it's like a tiny Australia with the WTF'ness that goes on there.

  • The_Wretched

    Saves time; you don't need to also play Russian Roulette on the side.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the 2036 Republican party presidential ticket!

  • Deksam

    How do you figure that???
    When the liberals are the ones legalizing drugs for cheap underhanded votes...

  • The_Wretched

    Yes, it's horrible when the citizens are allowed to vote. We need to stop that.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'll vote for them as long as they promise to go easy on the drone strikes. I for one welcome our new drug lord president.

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    This sounds like a plot to trailer park boys

  • GeneralDisorder

    I could never watch a full episode of TPB. I found it to be kind of tame. Some of the "crazy shenanigans" they were showing was shit I did every day growing up.

  • Scotty J

    She's hot... in a Hepatitis B kind of way.

  • Closet Nerd

    Never under estimate the stupidness of Florida Man

  • TheQiwiMan

    "so customers would not have to constantly enter and exit their home, potentially drawing unwanted attention, "

    So their solution was to put a large sign, meant to be seen by passersby, used exclusively for businesses, so they wouldn't draw unwanted attention.


  • GeneralDisorder

    There's a house across the street that constantly smells like weed and has emaciated people walking in and out a couple dozen times a day. Nobody really pays attention.

  • Munihausen

    Still more profitable than Tesla.

  • shashi

    not as profitable as crowdfunding donations for a homeless man

  • Megatron Jenkins

    Still more profitable than MoviePass.

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