Jerks Steal Shark From Aquarium By Disguising It In Baby Stroller

August 2, 2018

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This is some security cam footage of a group of humanoid turds stealing a small horn shark named Miss Helen from a petting pool at the San Antonio Aquarium in Texas by disguising it in a baby stroller. Apparently one of the men had previously owned the same type of shark but it passed so he just decided to steal another one because trash people beget trash ideas. You shouldn't even be allowed to own a fishbowl.

The video shows the thieves staking out the petting pool for over an hour, waiting for the staff to leave the room. While aquarium staff are distracted by an accomplice, another of the suspects reaches into the pool and grabs something with a net.


According to the aquarium, the trio then placed the shark into a bucket, covered it with a wet blanket, and pushed it away in a children's stroller.

One man has been charged after confessing to the theft and two other individuals have charges pending. Police believe that the shark was not kidnapped for profit, but to be added to the suspects' extensive private collection of marine life.

"The arresting officer said that the suspect had one of these sharks but lost it and wanted another one"

Thank God they were busted and the shark safely returned to the aquarium. WTF is wrong with people? Now I'm not saying these three should all be sentenced to being fed to hungry great whites on live television, but you have to admit that would make a pretty epic finale to next year's Shark Week. I'll start drafting a petition to Congress.

Keep going for the video footage (complete with the shark's return) while I speculate how many times these idiots watched Ocean's 11 hoping to gain some shark-stealing insight.

Thanks to my friend Arlene, who agrees hopefully they just bought (but probably stole) that stroller and haven't actually procreated.

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