Because someone out there needs them, these are the $85 faux marble Darth Vader and Stormtrooper head bookends available for preorder from Gentle Giant. $85 gets you a single 6.5-inch tall bookend, which is actually made of handpainted polystone. The bookends are set at 90-degrees though, so you can have the face staring at you regardless of which side of your books its placed on. Still, for $85 I would expect at least a set of two, or, if I am only getting one, for it to be real marble. How much does real marble cost anyways? I have no clue, because I've never had to pay for anything in my life because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. *spitting out* See? "That's a beer bottle top." I'm so poor, please buy me a six-pack.
Keep going for a few more shots.
Thanks to GM, who agrees you might as well just use an actual Darth Vader or Stormtrooper mask replica.