This is a local news report about an unidentified man (Bruce Wayne) who considers himself a real-life Batman and is protecting Stockton, California by making citizens arrests and handcuffing people anytime he witnesses some criminal activity. Or possible criminal activity. Or possibly no criminal activity whatsoever. Dammit, Batman, what the hell are you doing?
The video shows the vigilante detaining a man he claims is smoking crystal meth, outside a busy 99 Cents Only Store.
Stockton's Batman won't use his real name or show his face. But told CBS13, that he's nabbed hundreds of alleged criminals at the same Stockton Shopping Center.
"They're criminals in to which point they're committing crimes in front of my eyes," he said.
Stockton Police said the man in the video wasn't arrested or even cited.
But Batman said many of the bad guys he goes after do end up behind bars.
Stockton Police say a citizen's arrest is perfectly legal in California.
And pictures prove, police do show up for back-up, but not everyone's buying it.
"How do we know it's legit anyway?" one woman said.
It's a question, only he can answer.
"I am the real Batman," he said.
Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about all this. On one hand, people running around pretending they're superheroes is definitely a world I want to live in. On the other hand, this guy sounds like he's addicted to making citizen's arrests and handcuffing people. If somebody tries handcuffing me because they think I'm doing something illegal we're gonna have a problem. And that problem is probably going to be me trying to regurgitate the handcuff key I swallowed because yes those stereos were stolen and I ain't going back to jail.
Keep going for the worthwhile video news report, which includes such hits as:
"Where you get these handcuffs from homie?"
"Uh you can get em online."
Thanks to Thaylor H, who agrees a real superhero wouldn't need to use handcuffs.