Beer Bottle Opener That Also Replaces Tops

July 19, 2018

This is the $15 Open - Close Bottle Capper available from Uncommon Goods. Not only can it open a beer, it can also replace the lid. Cool, but I already have a recapper, it's called a pound from my fist. Besides, why would you ever want to reseal a beer anyways? Just drink it already. What the hell are you doing, give me that. *chugs* Aaaaaaah. There are only two reasons to ever recap a beer, and one involves tricking an enemy into drinking deadly poison. "And the other?" Urine.

Thanks to hairless, who was talking about this like it's the best thing since sliced bread, even though everybody knows the best thing since sliced bread will always be sandwiches.

  • jic1

    I've had a recapping bottle opener for over 20 years. In fact, I have at least two of them. They cost a lot less than $15 a piece (even allowing for inflation), and also have a cork screw and a wine bottle bung built in. And yes, the recapping function is essentially pointless: I tried it a couple of times when they were new just to see if it worked, then never used it again.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I have like... ten of those. Well, it's actually a claw hammer. Works great for opening and closing crimped bottle caps.

    Personally I like to drink twist off then I don't need to remember how to do the Bic trick or know where any of my hammers or bottle openers or what-have-you are to get wasted.

    That said, I also don't drink. It's been about 2 years since I've been drunk and about 6 months since I've consumed any alcohol. I stopped because dealing with kids when you're hungover really sucks. So the obvious answer: don't get a hangover. How do you not get a hangover... Don't get drunk. If I'm not drinking to get drunk, what's the point? There isn't one. Boom! Solved!

  • Douchy McDouche

    Also known as the Lightweight Bottle Capper to those that can't handle a bottle of brewsky.

  • adsffda

    but how does it make the top twist on at the end?

  • GeneralDisorder

    Not a twisty.

  • adsffda

    watch the gif

  • Jenness

    I actually thought this would be worth it, if only to try to stop someone from drugging you in a club because not every one guzzles beer down like it's water. I'd pay $15 for that and then I'd get annoyed at the rare psychopaths who do things that make that even something I'd ever think might be needed.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    C'mon gw, we all know you just ran the gif backwards halfway through.

  • Doog

    Exactly what I was going to say!

  • TheQiwiMan

    I can think of a few better uses for 15 bucks.


  • Corky McButterpants

    Exactly! Like 15 bottles of really shitty screwcap beer. \o/

  • GeneralDisorder

    You can buy a 10mm wrench for about a dollar if you don't plan on using it on a nut or bolt. Get a double-ended wrench and you can open different sizes of crimped caps...

  • Frédéric Purenne

    "There are only two reasons to ever recap a beer, and one involves
    tricking an enemy into drinking deadly poison. "And the other?" Urine."

    I was coming to comment, but after reading, I realized GW already said it all.

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