World's Oldest Known Spider Dead At 43 From Wasp Sting

May 1, 2018

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Above: Number 16 during aliver times.

In news that's left the researchers that were studying her "really miserable", Number 16, the world's oldest known tarantula and possible top-secret spy, has died from a wasp sting in her burrow in Western Australia. Some more info while I pour out a little liquor for Number 16 but mostly just guzzle the bottle and yell "YOU CAN'T TELL ME HOW TO MOURN" at any coworker who passes my cubicle with a stink-eye:

Tarantulas tend to live their entire lives in the same burrow hole, making them easy to track. By marking the burrow where Number 16 lived, scientists have been monitoring her movements in the wild ever since she was first found in the Central Wheatbelt region of Western Australia in 1974.


Scientists were able to determine "that the extensive life span of the trapdoor spider is due to their life-history traits, including how they live in uncleared, native bushland, their sedentary nature, and low metabolisms," lead researcher Leanda Mason, of Curtin University, said in a statement.

Mason told The Telegraph that researchers were "really miserable" about Number 16's death. They had hoped she would make it a few more years to her 50th birthday.

Truly a sad day. I suggest we all take off work early and meet at a bar to commiserate over some cold ones. "Haven't you already been drinking?" You sound like my dentist. Listen -- are you going to give me the fillings or not?

Thanks to Christina D, who didn't even know spiders could live that long. Honestly, I'm not so sure this isn't a Dread Pirate Roberts situation.

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