World's Oldest Known Spider Dead At 43 From Wasp Sting

May 1, 2018

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Above: Number 16 during aliver times.

In news that's left the researchers that were studying her "really miserable", Number 16, the world's oldest known tarantula and possible top-secret spy, has died from a wasp sting in her burrow in Western Australia. Some more info while I pour out a little liquor for Number 16 but mostly just guzzle the bottle and yell "YOU CAN'T TELL ME HOW TO MOURN" at any coworker who passes my cubicle with a stink-eye:

Tarantulas tend to live their entire lives in the same burrow hole, making them easy to track. By marking the burrow where Number 16 lived, scientists have been monitoring her movements in the wild ever since she was first found in the Central Wheatbelt region of Western Australia in 1974.


Scientists were able to determine "that the extensive life span of the trapdoor spider is due to their life-history traits, including how they live in uncleared, native bushland, their sedentary nature, and low metabolisms," lead researcher Leanda Mason, of Curtin University, said in a statement.

Mason told The Telegraph that researchers were "really miserable" about Number 16's death. They had hoped she would make it a few more years to her 50th birthday.

Truly a sad day. I suggest we all take off work early and meet at a bar to commiserate over some cold ones. "Haven't you already been drinking?" You sound like my dentist. Listen -- are you going to give me the fillings or not?

Thanks to Christina D, who didn't even know spiders could live that long. Honestly, I'm not so sure this isn't a Dread Pirate Roberts situation.

  • Jenness

    I wonder how many people with arachnophobia are going to flip the fuck out when they realize these things can live as long as humans - but have tons of babies? That's even freaking me out and I'm ok with spiders.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Fuck wasps!

  • GeneralDisorder

    I don't wanna... On the other hand I'm not getting any elsewhere... Ok, you talked me into it.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Lovingly, tenderly, all night long.

  • kriptikchicken

    Wasps have no shame.

  • Munihausen

    Pretty good run for an arachnid, or anything living in Australia, really.

  • Doog

    Number 16 huh.

    Next season of Stranger Things is going to be crazy.

  • Bling Nye

    I was thinking Battlestar Galactica, but yeah.

  • Bling Nye

    Celebrate with giggles
    Get tickled
    Get tickled
    Get tickled
    By spiders!

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