The Beerbell, A Floating Beer Koozie That Looks Like A Dumbell

May 24, 2018


Seen here watching in awe and reverence as his dad guzzles a beer in the hot tub, a boy catches a brief glimpse of his future. Enter the Beerbell, a $15 insulated floating drink koozie that looks kinda like a dumbell and weighs three pounds. Amazon product description highlights:

DRINK HOLDER AND DRINK IDENTIFIER- Boat, Yard, Car, Outdoor, Party, Beer, Soft Drink, Water

FLOATING DRINK HOLDER Enjoy your drink while you relax at the Pool Beach Hot Tub Lake or River

MAN CAVE The Beerbell is a great addition to any man cave. You will be the most popular person at the party when you give the Beerbell to your someone special

Ahahahahaha, what?! There is no way giving a Beerbell to your someone special is going to make you the most popular person at the party -- unless it's the most popular person to make fun of. Still, my funny stories aren't working like they usually do, so I guess it's worth a shot. *hands girlfriend a Beerbell* "I wanted jewelry." She loves it, everyone! "I hate it." *nobody is paying attention anyways* Great, now not only am I not popular, my girlfriend hates me. I was lied to! *angrily starts writing one-star review, starting with 'Well, you better hope it doubles as a Fleshlight.'*

Keep going for a couple more shots.



Thanks to JD, who agrees you're gonna need two if you plan on doing some double-fisting hammer curls.

  • GeneralDisorder


  • Darren McCoy

    Is it weird that I thought the son was "feeding" his Father?

  • Bling Nye

    Now I can't unsee it, especially if you pretend his hand is fucked up from some birth defect...

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    that's one heterosexual looking hot tub situation

  • Kanger

    Or you just get an inflatable raft like this and it holds multiple drinks.

  • Munihausen

    A couple good 'ol boys right there.

  • Meh

    Because you know; dumbells are those kind of items of which everyone knows they float.

  • TheQiwiMan
  • Jenness

    SHAKE WEIGHTTTTT!!!!! Seriously, I want one of these - you'd be laughing the entire time you'd be trying to work out.

  • TheQiwiMan

    When you get one, let me know! ;-)

  • Jenness

    Okay!! Then you can get one and we can wear big terry cloth headbands and neon 80's workout clothes while shaking weights to Wham!

  • TheQiwiMan

    This is -LITERALLY- my biggest fetish.

    You know me so well!

  • Jenness

    Maybe they shouldn't have shots of the hands around what looks like a logo rubbing off cheaply on their palms as they hold it.

  • Geekologie

    I think they photoshopped smeared those for some reason?

  • Ollie Williams

    Looks like a sports team logo, Broncos maybe. They distorted it to not get sued if that's the case.

  • Bling Nye

    Pretty sure it's a cougar, and I think they deliberately tried to rub it off the thing itself. There's another shot of one with the logo intact on the amazon page. No idea if it's college/high school or other mascot.

  • Eric Ord


    That dad is drinking like I do when you people don't respect my firsts

  • Bling Nye

    Like a dog trying to get the peanut butter at the bottom of the jar.

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