Real Things That Exist: A Wearable Chainmaille Octopus Hood

May 1, 2018

octopus-chainmaille-hood-1.jpg

This is the wearable chainmaille octopus hood crafted by "Chicago-based artist, jewelry, and fashion designer Vanessa Walilko." It looks like an octopus and can be worn on your head while doing battle. I'm not sure how well you can see out of it, but my guess is good enough to swing a sword. Or, in my case, a sock full of pennies. Man, I can still remember the first time I brained a goblin with a sock full of pennies. It seems like only yesterday. "When was it really?" Never happened, goblins don't exist. What can I say, my mind is a playground. "And you just fell off the monkey bars?" Holy shit I can see the bone, call my mom.

Keep going for one more shot of the octopus not trying to have brain for dinner.

octopus-chainmaille-hood-2.jpg

Thanks to Amelie, who agrees that, while knowing is half the battle, the other half is frightening and intimidating your enemy.

  • n_a_a_s

    HEEEY...uhyoulookstupid

  • Andyman7714

    Son, you have a panty on yer head.

  • Jenness

    I just love the fact that there are so many character names for this:
    I choose " Battlepussy" !

  • Meh

    This is how you get it on in the bedroom.

  • Munihausen

    It should come with a squeeze-bag of ink to spray on everyone who inquires whether "everything's alright."

  • Jenness

    Or 8 of them in each tentacle to give both function to the form

  • The_Wretched

    Dang, that's pretty cool. I'd wear it.

  • TheQiwiMan

    #NoKinkShaming

  • Nicholas Conrad

    I guess some people are in to things. Follow your bliss ...but from a comfortable distance; not right behind like a creep.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    I think this could make a kick-ass LARP villain. If only all the tentacles were at the front, it'd make a mind flayer.

  • The_Wretched

    I'm sure the vendor could make adjustments.

  • TheQiwiMan
  • Wooder

    For this model this must be the lowest point in her career!

  • Jenness

    Or his - you can't even really tell the camouflage is so perfect. Oh wait...maybe that is the point - camo AND protection.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'm gonna say "her" because I'm attracted to her and last time I checked I wasn't gay.

  • Jenness

    I want to watch that because I'm curious as to how one 'checks'. Do you just look down and say "Yep, still don't want to suck it" or what?

  • GeneralDisorder

    It's probably not anywhere near as interesting as you're imagine.

  • Jenness

    Well that's disappointing, because I can imagine a whole lot.

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