World's Oldest Man Celebrates Guinness World Record With A Piece Of Cake

April 11, 2018


This is a video of 112 year and 259 day old Masazo Nonaka (who doesn't look a day over 400 if you ask me) accepting the Guinness World Record for being the world's oldest living man. They also give him a piece of cake, which he described as "delicious", which I suspect may have just been a guess because there's no way anybody over 100 can smell or taste anything anymore. That's why their houses smell and they don't know it.

He credits his longevity to "soaking in hot springs and eating sweets"

The person who held the title of "Oldest Living Person Ever (male)" before Nonaka was Jiroemon Kimura, also Japanese, who died in 2013 at age 116 years 54 days.

The oldest person ever was Jeanne Louise Calment, from France, who died in 1997 at age 122 years 164 days.

Dang, I was really hoping he was going to say having a bad attitude and shitty friends was the key to longevity, because that's about all I've got. Soaking in hot springs and eating sweets? The sweets I guess I can work with. *pounds a half gallon of ice cream* I can actually feel the diabetes multiplying inside me. "That's not how it works." Are you a doctor? "No." But will you take a look at this thing on my crotch anyway?

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Dunc, who agrees the real key to longevity is one of those over-the-counter boner pills with a name like Rhino Blitz Gold or Extreme Nob 5000.

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