Two Dudes Demonstrating Authentic Longsword Attacks

April 19, 2018

This is a video of two dudes going medieval on each other's asses while demonstrating a variety of authentic middle-age longsword attacks based on old illustrations (including both one-handed and two-handed sword attacks). They really go at each other too. I liked that. I'm half tempted to text and see if any of my friends want to get together this weekend for some cold ones and a little light swordplay. They won't though, because they're no fun. "Plus they don't exist." You're all I have and you hate me. Just think about that.

Keep going for the video while I talk like a knight and swing a roll of wrapping paper around the office.

Thanks to Douglass S, who knows what I like, and I like doing battle.

  • adsffda

    I thought it was like old sailing ships where we didn't have surviving records of european martialarts, closest to complete iirc was a few manuals on german "big knife" swords and some kind of irish stick fighting? For example I remember watching some history thing where they speculated that the primary difference between lognswords and bastard swords was the fighting discipline used rather than the weapon but we don't know enough to say for certain, and another show about how big a misconception there was about how people could move in platemail

    guess i was wrong and we do know some of how broadswords were used

  • Madz

    not what I was expecting when you said "longsword"

  • Fartbutt

    Now replace the swords with penises.

  • Fartbutt

    But that swordplay sure is precise!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Now replace the swords with lightsabers.

  • Geekologie

    now replace the lightsabers with penises. wait what

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Whatever you do, don't replace your penis with a lightsaber tho.... It sounds awesome, but turns out it's not fun for anyone.

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    So...Pretty much swordfights were really short. That's a terrifying and awesome video!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Also notice they aren't attacking each other's weapons like you see in Hollywood sword and sword-like battles (yeah, I'm bad-mouthing Star Wars because light sabers are fucking stupid and the tactics shown are bullshit).

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    I don't care what you say. Lightsabers are the shit!

  • The_Wretched

    they had to be to fit in 2 second gifs.

  • MustacheHam

    That's pretty impressive.

  • Elias

    I liked the pulp fiction medieval reference

  • Andyman7714

    I'd be yelling, "Hey, no fair!" then dying.

  • Jenness

    Exactly. That about sums me up too right after I trip and fall on my own sword.

  • Jenness

    This is awesome and just shows how ridiculous most movie sword battles are because the whole goal was to go straight for the kill shot as quickly as possible and how much luck played into who lived or died.

  • Bling Nye

    Yeah, this guy has a lot of good insight:

    And the some of the videos ARMA make are pretty good regarding fighting techniques.

    Armor even makes a big difference in the tactics:

    Cinema has given people a very warped idea of what sword fighting really is like. But then again, a fight that's over in seconds isn't that entertaining, now is it?

  • The_Wretched

    He's good but very full of himself.

  • Irina Abramovich


    I died reading your post.=)

    Hubree: Kitten POW3R 4EVAR!!!!=)=)=)

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