Snake Sorcery: Man Casually Subdues Cobra

April 10, 2018

This is a video of a man in a town that desperately need a trash and recycling center casually subduing a cobra. The play by play: first, he steps on it's tail so it can't get away. Then, he dizzies the snake while playing a classic game of look at this hand while I grab you with my other hand. Finally, he considers trying to blow it up like a balloon (or possibly speaking something in parseltongue) before deciding to give it a body massage instead, turning it into a limp noodle before wrapping it up neatly like you would a charging cable you're taking on vacation, or Indiana Jones's whip, and putting it in a bag. I was so inspired by his snake sorcery I tried doing the same thing (I'm pretty big on sorcery) but I guess the snake wasn't completely pleased with the body massage (what's a happy ending?) and now I only have like an hour to live. Tell my dog she was adopted.

Thanks to J Gilbert, who thought this would be a nice follow up to the story about that black mamba guy, which it is.

  • Deksam

    Here comes Discovery Channel's next show, The Snake Whisperer.

  • GeneralDisorder

    It's a good thing snakes are stupid. Well, not stupid so much as lacking in the sort of sensory to give a shit if the environment around them changes slowly enough.

  • Munihausen

    Subdues, or subtly kills?

  • "Tell my dog she was adopted."

    Jesus... You kill me every time.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Beastmaster reboot's lookin pretty low-budget.

  • Doog

    See in my village when a guy stands on one of the the main streets and 'casually subdues a cobra' everyone freaks out and calls the cops.

  • Bling Nye

    $10 says there's a gay pr0n video with the exact same title.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Rule 34 says you're right.

  • Jenness

    I googled this, not because I don't believe you, but because I knew I'd find it.

  • Gilbert

    Rule #34...

  • Draco Basileus

    Where was this guy during Raiders of the Lost Ark?

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