No Surprises There: Uranus 'Smells Like Rotten Eggs'

April 25, 2018

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In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who's ever dealt it, scientists claim Uranus smells like rotten eggs. Personally, I think it's high time we hold a vote to determine if we even want the rancid planet to be a part of our solar system. It's been giving us a bad rap for too long.
Imagine what the aliens must think of us. "Bring Pluto back." Yeah!

The clouds in Uranus' upper atmosphere are composed largely of hydrogen sulfide, the molecule that makes rotten eggs so stinky, a new study suggests.


"If an unfortunate human were ever to descend through Uranus' clouds, they would be met with very unpleasant and odiferous conditions," study lead author Patrick Irwin, of Oxford University in England, said in a statement.

But that wayward pioneer would have bigger problems, he added: "Suffocation and exposure in the negative 200 degrees Celsius [minus 328 degrees Fahrenheit] atmosphere, made of mostly hydrogen, helium, and methane, would take its toll long before the smell."

Oh cool, so you'll be dead before you can even smell the smell. That's a relief. Truthfully, there's been more than one occasion where I've wished the same thing in airport bathrooms. Way more than one occasion. All the occasions actually. So if you're ever using an airport restroom on a layover and hear a guy run in dry-heaving, feel free to say what's up and wish me a safe flight.

Thanks to Thaylor H and Pby, who agrees Uranus has got to go.

  • Meh

    The universe djinn clearly has a great sense of humor.

  • Jenness

    I can't wait to tell my son emphatically when I pick him up from school that science has declared that "Uranus stinks!" This is parenting gold.

  • Doog

    Somehow I feel like we all already knew this.

  • Bling Nye

    URANUS SMELLS LIKE SHIT BRO

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