This is the hopefully real story told by Ellisville, Mississippi man Tony Welsh, who decided to test the taser he bought his wife on himself to make sure it had adequate stopping power. The taser in question is a 100,000-volt pocket-sized taser powered by two AAA batteries, which he suspected wouldn't be powerful enough. He was wrong. Obviously, the best parts for me were SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER READ THE STORY FIRST: pooping himself and "My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching." Man, double nipple twitching -- that's bucket list stuff right there. Obviously, I wrote him to find out exactly what model it was so I can finally cross that off and move to the freaky stuff.
Keep going for the whole story, but if you just want to read the actual test notes skip halfway down to where he's writing in all caps and I made a small pink tab on the left.
Thanks to Shannon From HR, who also mentioned I need to stop playing browser games on company time.