RIP Geoffrey: Toys 'Я' Us Classic 'I Don't Wanna Grow Up' Jingle Performed In A Minor Key

March 22, 2018


To honor the closing of all Toys 'Я' Us stores after more than six decades in the toy business, this is a video of musician Chase Holfelder performing the classic 'I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I'm A Toys 'Я' Us Kid' jingle in a minor key. It sounds sad. It also sounds like something straight out of a Disney movie. I haven't been to a toys 'Я' Us in many years, but I remember when I was a kid buying Nintendo games there and losing my mind over all the LEGO sets. Plus riding the skateboards and bikes down the aisles like a maniac. *shrug* I guess times change, and, no matter how much we don't want to, we all DO grow up. "I just saw you pee in a coworker's desk drawer." PETER PAN FOREVER.

Keep going for the video, as well as the original for reference and a commercial for one of the Nickelodeon/Toys 'Я' Us Super Toy Runs (five minutes to grab everything you can in the store) because that's all I ever dreamed about as a kid.

Thanks to Dave D, who's not convinced the kids who won those Super Toy Runs weren't just actors.

  • Joe Schmopped

    By the way, the vintage commercial is Jenny Lewis at the beginning. The lead singer of Rilo Kiley

  • GeneralDisorder

    Anyone remember Big Wheel, Ames, Hills, Montgomery Ward, K-Mart, Sears? Nah. Me either.

  • The_Wretched

    Sears had a catalog.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Oh yeah. I remember fapping to it before the internet was a thing I had access to at home.

  • PUNX

    The only other thing that sux worse the Toys 'Я' Us closing is this song

  • James Mcelroy

    who are this guys parents? Elijah Wood and James Spader?

  • GeneralDisorder

    He looks a lot like this guy I hung out with in middle school and high school who was in boxing and every other martial arts there was. He had his nose broken more times than I think anyone can count (because he couldn't count that high and nobody else knew or cared).

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