These are a couple examples of the $56 Face Licker lollipops available for custom order from FireBox. You just send them a picture of yourself (or a friend or the Tinder date you're about to meet for the first time -- they'll be thrilled with the gesture, trust me) and a short description (i.e. you can't tell in this photo but my left eyelid doesn't open as far as the right) and about a week later, a tutti-frutti flavored lollipop with your likeness arrives! Unfortunately, $56 is a little outside my lollipop budget at the moment. "What can you afford?" Well if they only sold the Tootsie Roll centers of Tootsie Pops, I could probably afford one of those. "They do, they're called Tootsie Rolls." *mind explodes*
Keep going for one more shot of a dudepop.
Thanks to Christian, who agrees, if you have to choose, a lollipop that looks like a face > a face that looks like a lollipop.