The End Nears: Robot Opens Door For Friend

February 13, 2018

Man, I was just flying so high after those shitty Olympic skiing robots and then Boston Dynamics has to come along and rain on my parade. Which technically wasn't so much a parade as one man stomping around in his underwear waving his blankie, but my mom said it's nap time and I'm not tired yet. This is a video of a Boston Dynamics hand-headed SpotMini quadruped robot coming along to open a door for his non hand-headed accomplice so they can go assassinate their target and complete the mission. The way they move -- I don't like it. Too fluid. They're like the raptors from the first Jurassic Park movie. I liked it better when robots were all jerky and parts were constantly falling off. Something you could really point and laugh at. Now you look at these two and you think to yourself, "Damn, I could honestly see that coming to kill me." The laughter is gone -- there's only pain left. *tucks cyanide capsule into cheek like chewing tobacco* "That was a Tide Pod." Jesus, do you think I actually know how to get my hands on cyanide? The checkout lady at Kroger barely let me buy these.

Keep going for 45 seconds of the future.

Thanks to Bovis, Jamie, Stephanie B and n0nentity, for really knowing how to ruin a guy's day.

  • shashi

    Something tells me they're not showing us the really scary stuff

    "You mean the 7ft tall bipedal robots with machine guns for arms? what's so scary about that?"

    they dress like clowns and stand around at night staring and pointing

  • Sandy Dmyterko

    Imagine if you had no knowledge of these robots and you were on the other side of the door when it was opened by the robot. I bet someone would shit their shorts.

  • GeneralDisorder

    My colon quivered and I was just watching a video of this happening.

  • Ari Porzecanski

    Did we learn nothing from watching Black Mirror!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Nah... I was busy fapping to... Hmm... what was that episode about? Oh right... digital ghost murder. MMMMMMM!!

  • Doog

    This is legit terrifying. Assuming that there was some sort of communication and they weren't just preprogramed to 'go to the door and wait x amount of time' while the other is set to 'open a door wait then enter the door'. If that's the case, which I really hope it is, then everything is still fine. Well, fine is a vague word in this case meaning we aren't completely screwed and flying of an AI driven cliff (which spoilers: we are this just wouldn't be an example of why)

  • disqus_gZpGDc50gC

    You want terrifying?
    You're welcome.

  • Jason Christopher

    It's been real, guys.

  • FearlessFarris

    We need to invent a feminist robot to inform the other robots that opening doors and other acts of chivalry are sexist and demeaning.

  • Camel Toad

    Nailed it.

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