Real Products That Exist: Olive Garden's 'Italian Nachos'

February 6, 2018


While they're certainly no Lady Doritos (which aren't actually a thing), these are the are the new 'Loaded Pasta Chips' from Olive Garden. What are Loaded Pasta Chips? Basically Italian nachos. "That'sa blasphemy!" Oh shit -- Super Mario is pissed! Relax bro, It's Olive Garden, you should hear the things my Italian grandma has to say about it. "Likea what?" She loves it.

Homemade pasta chips, lightly fried and layered with Italian cheeses and a hearty meat sauce. Topped with cherry peppers and an alfredo drizzle.

1,520 cal.

Mmmm, nothing quite conjures up a magical vision of diarrhea like a 1,520 calorie appetizer of fried pasta chips with a hearty meat sauce and an alfredo drizzle. Of course three hours later that isn't going to be just a drizzle anymore, it's going to be a full-blown downpour, and you better pray you're at home to use your own bathroom when the storm breaks. PROTIP: Run the shower or sing in pain really loud to muffle the sound so your significant other isn't as disgusted by you.

Thanks to Vicky R, who prefers Red Lobster. Fancy! I'm Captain D's for life (but I'll settle for a Long John Silver's if I have to).

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