This is a video of a man shining a 32,000-lumen flashlight at paint produced with Lit, a powdered phosphorescent pigment that's allegedly the world's brightest. For reference, the sun on a perpendicular surface at sea level produces around 9,100 lumens per square foot. I have no idea what any of those numbers mean but I stared at the sun once for a minute straight and it changed my life. Mostly because now I have zero night vision. What was that?! WHO'S THERE?! Also I'm pretty sure this guy just opened a portal. Well -- what are you waiting for? Stick your arm through and punch whatever's on the other side!
Keep going for the video, but skip to 3:12 if you're not here to learn and just want to see the action.
Thanks to Greg M, who's convinced a redhead's skin is still brighter.