Great, I'm Blind Now: Shining One Of The World's Brightest Flashlights At The World's Brightest Glow-In-The-Dark Paint

February 7, 2018


This is a video of a man shining a 32,000-lumen flashlight at paint produced with Lit, a powdered phosphorescent pigment that's allegedly the world's brightest. For reference, the sun on a perpendicular surface at sea level produces around 9,100 lumens per square foot. I have no idea what any of those numbers mean but I stared at the sun once for a minute straight and it changed my life. Mostly because now I have zero night vision. What was that?! WHO'S THERE?! Also I'm pretty sure this guy just opened a portal. Well -- what are you waiting for? Stick your arm through and punch whatever's on the other side!

Keep going for the video, but skip to 3:12 if you're not here to learn and just want to see the action.

Thanks to Greg M, who's convinced a redhead's skin is still brighter.

  • Gilbert

    I just want a link to be able to buy that flashlight (fleshlight for TheQiwiMan)....

  • Don Peterman

    I’m thinking about all the eyes he is hurting with this video and it’s rather funny. But it also makes me feel stupid for not preparing for his attack.

  • Don Peterman

    One of these days, somebody is going to finally read my recommendation and take it seriously and I will forever loath that individual. But, until then... Paint the damn markings on the road with glow in the dark paint, although, I’m not entirely sure how long the glow could last after a full charge from the sun.. scientists created CERN, they’re still constructing the James Webb Telescope, I’m sure they can figure out a way to make paint glow throughout the damn night.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Aww... disappointed.

    I thought it said "the world's brightest FLESHlight"...


  • GeneralDisorder

    That's next. Guy should mold himself a fleshlight with luminescent plastic/rubber then shine the world's brightest flashlight into the world's first luminescent fleshlight (I assume, I'm not gonna google it at work).

    Then he'll have the world's brightest fleshlight...

  • Xockszky

    they should paint hallways and stairwells in public buildings with that stuff!

  • Jesus H. Presley ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ™

    And roads, too!

  • MustacheHam

    Enter the glowing hall...

  • FearlessFarris

    The flashlight was held by the world's brightest man.

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