So, We've Come To This: Wealthy Neighborhood Installs Bird Spikes In Trees To Prevent Poop On Cars

January 25, 2018


Because people are, by nature, giant turds, this is a shot of one of the trees in a wealthy Bristol, England neighborhood that has had anti-bird spikes nailed to its branches to prevent birds from roosting there and shitting on the residents' expensive cars. Earth: humans don't deserve it.

One resident, who asked to remain anonymous, confirmed the spikes were "solely to to protect cars", which include a number of expensive BMWs and Audis, from bird droppings.

They said: "The spikes are solely to protect the cars, there is no other reason.

"There is a big problem with bird droppings around here. They can really make a mess of cars, and for some reason the birds do seem to congregate around this area.

I just don't know any more, I really don't. We're taking trees away from the birds. And for what -- so your BMW doesn't get a little poop on it? Shit is all part of life. I'm sorry, but I'm siding with the birds on this one. "You're going to go poop on those cars, aren't you?" I did some research and this Taco Bell is less than two hours away. Obviously, I'll still need to take it to go.

Thanks to Melissa, who agrees all the plants and animals should rise up and take the earth back from us.

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