Now Make It Bigger: An Official Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep

January 17, 2018

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Seen here at the exact moment he spotted a t-rex while his copilot points at a f***ing tree, a young boy prepares to steer his new Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep out of dino-danger. The $400 vehicle has a top speed of 5MPH (paleontologists estimate a t-rex could run around 12MPH), a functional light bar, images of a t-rex chasing you in all the mirrors, and makes dinosaur sound effects. Obviously, it's the perfect ride for a blogger who plans on shrinking himself down to a third of his current size. "You're talking about yourself?" Do you know any other bloggers dumb enough to step in front of an experimental shrink-ray just so they can drive a Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep? "You truly are a gift from God." Thanks! "But like, a white elephant gift." Dammit! You were so close to loving me, I could almost feel the warmth of your touch. Can't you just be nice to me for once? "You're the one that puts the words in my mouth." I know, but you're inherently evil, I can't change that about you on my own.

Keep going for shots of the vehicle from all around.

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Thanks to Taylor, who agrees of all the parks, Jurassic is probably the coolest.

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