Now Make It Bigger: An Official Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep

January 17, 2018


Seen here at the exact moment he spotted a t-rex while his copilot points at a f***ing tree, a young boy prepares to steer his new Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep out of dino-danger. The $400 vehicle has a top speed of 5MPH (paleontologists estimate a t-rex could run around 12MPH), a functional light bar, images of a t-rex chasing you in all the mirrors, and makes dinosaur sound effects. Obviously, it's the perfect ride for a blogger who plans on shrinking himself down to a third of his current size. "You're talking about yourself?" Do you know any other bloggers dumb enough to step in front of an experimental shrink-ray just so they can drive a Jurassic Park Power Wheels Jeep? "You truly are a gift from God." Thanks! "But like, a white elephant gift." Dammit! You were so close to loving me, I could almost feel the warmth of your touch. Can't you just be nice to me for once? "You're the one that puts the words in my mouth." I know, but you're inherently evil, I can't change that about you on my own.

Keep going for shots of the vehicle from all around.





Thanks to Taylor, who agrees of all the parks, Jurassic is probably the coolest.

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