Well That's Nice: Surgeon Admits To Branding Patients' Livers With His Initials

December 14, 2017

signing-livers.jpg

Seen here looking exactly like the type of guy I'd expect to sign a liver (possibly before eating it), 53-year old liver, spleen and pancreas surgeon Simon Bramhall has admitted (after previously being investigated) to using an argon laser to brand two patients' livers with his initials during surgery. Jesus, who are you, Picasso?

[Bramhall] was suspended when the branding was discovered by another surgeon.


Liver surgeons use an argon beam to stop livers bleeding, but can also use it to burn the surface of the liver to sketch out the area of an operation.

His actions were carried out "with a disregard for the feelings of unconscious patients", the prosecutor added.

Speaking to the BBC after his suspension he admitted he had made "a mistake".

Admittedly, I do have to admire a surgeon who considers his work so masterfully done that it's art and needs to be signed. Maybe if the surgeon who repaired my broken arm (who will remain nameless but whose initials are Dr. L.P.) had taken himself so seriously it wouldn't always hurt when I type. "It hurts to type?" I pain myself every day for you. "I had no idea." You never asked. "I never cared." But you do now? "No." I should have stopped when I could still pretend you did.

Thanks to n0nentity, who agrees this is exactly why you refuse anything but local anesthesia so you can watch the operation and make sure there's no funny business.

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