Well That's Nice: Surgeon Admits To Branding Patients' Livers With His Initials

December 14, 2017

signing-livers.jpg

Seen here looking exactly like the type of guy I'd expect to sign a liver (possibly before eating it), 53-year old liver, spleen and pancreas surgeon Simon Bramhall has admitted (after previously being investigated) to using an argon laser to brand two patients' livers with his initials during surgery. Jesus, who are you, Picasso?

[Bramhall] was suspended when the branding was discovered by another surgeon.


Liver surgeons use an argon beam to stop livers bleeding, but can also use it to burn the surface of the liver to sketch out the area of an operation.

His actions were carried out "with a disregard for the feelings of unconscious patients", the prosecutor added.

Speaking to the BBC after his suspension he admitted he had made "a mistake".

Admittedly, I do have to admire a surgeon who considers his work so masterfully done that it's art and needs to be signed. Maybe if the surgeon who repaired my broken arm (who will remain nameless but whose initials are Dr. L.P.) had taken himself so seriously it wouldn't always hurt when I type. "It hurts to type?" I pain myself every day for you. "I had no idea." You never asked. "I never cared." But you do now? "No." I should have stopped when I could still pretend you did.

Thanks to n0nentity, who agrees this is exactly why you refuse anything but local anesthesia so you can watch the operation and make sure there's no funny business.

  • GeneralDisorder

    When I heard about this and just laughed my ass off. First off, why the hell would he ever think this is a good idea? Second... he got ratted out! That's amusing to me. The patient didn't care (which, good. No harm, no foul).

    And now the dude's getting probable jailtime for it. A laugh riot all around.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I bet he now wishes he had drawn a penis instead

  • Meh

    Its amazing you could do something like that and get away with it.

  • Octo

    What's even more amazing is that you can get caught doing something like this.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Meh, I see the whole consent issue here, but if a doctor fixed me up and did a great job and there was no harm done with the initials, I wouldn't have a problem with it. In fact I'd think that was pretty cool.

  • AtomicMountain

    ...after which he enjoyed a plate of fava beans and nice Chianti.

  • Adibobea9

    I don't see the problem, but whatever…

  • The_Wretched

    I'll be over later to put my personal identifier inside your body. It won't hurt and you won't notice it later. In fact, hardly anyone will be able to see it. /creepy.

  • Adibobea9

    Sure, it's creepy and unnecessary but you've already asked him to slice your body open for surgery already so what's the problem with signing your name. I'm sure it will heal within a couple of days anyway…

  • WhiteEagle2

    Thats because you can't see their liver.

  • Bling Nye

    When asked for comment, he said cirrhosisly, "If I could go back and do it again, I'd liver alone."

  • Jenness

    OMG hahahahhhahahh

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