Smart Thinking: Man Attacks ATM For Dispensing Too Much Money

December 28, 2017


23-year old Michael Joseph Oleksik of Cocoa, Florida (where else?) was recently arrested for criminal mischief after repeatedly punching an ATM's touch screen after the machine erroneously dispensed too much money. Wells Fargo Bank claims he caused over $5,000 in damages to the machine, presumably because he's the Incredible Hulk.

Authorities said Oleksik can be seen on surveillance video standing at the ATM, pummeling the electronic teller's touch screen on Nov. 29.

A short time later, an apologetic Oleksik called the bank and told a manager that he punched the ATM because he was 'angry the ATM was giving him too much money and he did not know what to do,' records show. Oleksik also said that he was in a hurry for work and apologized for the damage to the bank's ATM.

Wells Fargo contacted the Cocoa Police Department and asked to press charges.

Ah, so he Bruce Banner'd back to normal and called the bank. I don't know, maybe he should have done that first? "Florida Man." Say no more. Still, calling the police to press charges is a pretty shitty move by Wells Fargo -- your machine started the fight by screwing up in the first place. Besides, weren't you the bank that was just busted for that massive account fraud scandal? "No comment." I'm burying all my money in pickle jars where it's safe.

Thanks to Davey W, who doesn't believe in banks and just invested all his money in cryptocurrency where it's the safest and securest.

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