Total Destruction: Christmas Toys Vs A 124MPH Crash Test

November 28, 2017

Ken? I've got some bad news. Are you sitting down? Well stand up. Now sit back down. Now stand up again. Okay, back down. That was fun, wasn't it? Barbie's dead.

This is a video from Switzerland's Dynamic Test Center of a bunch of Christmas toys experiencing a 200km/h (~124MPH) crash test. There were no survivors -- everything pretty much just disintegrated. So, if you're a toy and thinking about driving around at 124MPH this holiday season crashing into things, think again. "We hear ya, we hear ya." Dammit Buzz and Woody, I'm being serious. If you two weren't around for a Toy Story 4 I don't know what I'd do with myself, besides forget it was ever supposed to come out (June 2019, seriously?!) and move on with my life. It wouldn't be easy though. "Admittedly, June 2019 is a long ways away." For what? "Toy Story 4 to come out." There's gonna be a Toy Story 4?!

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to Mike H, who agrees the key to surviving a crash test is pressing your ejector seat button before impact.

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  • The_Wretched

    I guess the hydrolic press version is slower.

  • Talon184

    I wanna see a Stretch Armstrong explode and send that gelatin crap flying everywhere.

  • Jenness

    Barbie actually just popped into different body parts mostly so her body fared better than the actual cars. She's pretty resilient.

  • Mark

    yes, but all of her clothes flew off.

    I need a cigarette now...

  • Dao

    On a semi-related note, I've always wanted to see a Crash Test Dolphin.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'm having difficulty picturing a scenario where the data would be relevant.

    What are you planning!?!?!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Seeing them wearing those crash test dummy faces was really unsettling.

  • GeneralDisorder
  • Draco Basileus

    That was satisfying.

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Read More: breaking things, crashing and burning, crashing things, death and destruction, ho ho ho, santa no!, so that's what that looks like, there were no survivors, toys, video, yikes, you've got a fast car i want a ticket to anywhere maybe we can make a deal maybe together we can -- wait a minute are you a crash test dummy? get me the f*** out of here!
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