Sounds Right: Flat-Earther Plans To Launch Himself In Homemade Rocket To Prove Earth Isn't Spherical

November 27, 2017

flat-earth-rocket.jpg

Darwin, stay awake for this one -- it should be good.

California man "Mad" Mike Hughes soon plans on launching himself 1,800-feet above the Mojave Desert aboard a homemade steam-powered rocket (dear God) in an attempt to gather photographic evidence that proves the earth is flat. PROTIP: Buy a weather balloon instead. He was originally scheduled for liftoff last Saturday, but postponed the trip because the Bureau of Land Management caught wind about his little deathwish and banned him from using any public land for the stunt. Plus, you know, "The rocket launcher he had built out of a used motor home 'broke down in the driveway' on Wednesday." No surprises there.

Hughes's ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above the Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on.


"It'll shut the door on this ball earth," Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday's flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

Dare to dream, folks -- that's the real message here. Even in the face of insurmountable scientific evidence against you -- dare to dream your stupid, stupid dream. Plus die doing what you love and believe in. And he's definitely going to die here, just so we're clear. The other flat-earthers will claim he was killed by the government in a coverup, but deep down, everyone will know the man couldn't build a decent rocket for shit.

Thanks to Ryan and Bambi, who agree flat-earthers should at least insist the planet is a Möbius strip.

  • Nathan Dunning

    In the last day's dip shit,Read a Bible! Or just swallow Hook Line & Sinker every Lie you ever learnt with your public school education.Think you're an individual and the truth is you're just the same as every other Automaton.

  • Matt

    How does a 2D photo prove that an object is not 3D?

  • Meh

    Making your own reality. Good for that guy.

  • Deksam

    How many Flat Earthers are commercial pilots or astronauts?? I am willing to wager on ZER0!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Once again, the BLM show themselves to be the enemy of humanity.

  • The_Wretched

    Black lives matters or bureau of land management?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Bureau of Land Management, but both organizations are toxic and built on lies.

  • Doog

    What?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Once again, the BLM show themselves to be the enemy of humanity.

  • sizzlepants

    I don't necessarily want to trivialize the loss of any human life but at least this guy has the apparent guts to follow through with this ideas (as misguided as they might be).

    Shine on, you crazy (literal) diamond! I'll be watching for the follow up later this week.

  • Jenness

    Oh please let aliens abduct him on live stream and have him disappear in a colossal 'WTF is happening?!?' event that pits NASA, conspiracy theorists, scientists and governments against each other. *crosses fingers*

  • GeneralDisorder

    Now there's something I can fap to! You know there'd be lots of probing.

  • Jenness

    Yes, because what else is an advanced intelligent species going to cross the galaxy for ? Bunghole Invasions - that's what!!

  • Frédéric Purenne

    1800 feet, that's 600 meters. We have buildings higher than that, why can't he simply go there with a tripod instead? Not that it will prove anything other than he's not high enough.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the earth with significant accuracy in 240 BC. The Great Pyramid is 145 meters tall roughly and was the tallest building until Lincoln Cathedral in 1300.

    The problem with things like calculation, observation, realistic scientific discovery, people can just ignore all of it.

    Have you ever read or heard some of the arguments made by flat-earhers? I don't know all of their arguments because quite frankly the ones I know of are so stupid that I fear I might rage-stroke and die if I try to wrap my brain around them all.

    One humorous argument... "Why is sea level the same? If the earth was round the sea would fly off into space". Believing in gravity ruins most of the flat-earther's arguments.

  • Meseta

    Hell, I was up a 1000m (almost 3000 feet) mountain this weekend, looking out over the sea, and curvature was barely visible to the naked eye. Can't imagine trying to spot that curvature riding a rickety home-made rocket at 600m/1800ft.

  • Bean

    If they just supported the giant turtle holding up the flat earth we might at least respect them a little :)

  • after reading a little about this guy, I don't think he's actually a flat earther.

    He's been making steam powered rockets for years, but ran out of money to make the really big ones, so I think he just turned to the conspiracy nuts for some funding. He'll probably milk them along for as much as possible, then come back with pictures of a round earth...

    If he survives, that is...

  • Bling Nye

    Bet you're right.

    Hughes made other pitches, including a plan to fly over Texas in a “SkyLimo.” But he complained to Ars Technica last year about the difficulty of funding his dreams on a chauffeur’s meager salary.
    A year later, he called into a flat-Earth community Web show to announce that he had become a recent convert. “We were kind of looking for new sponsors for this. And I’m a believer in the flat Earth,” Hughes said. “I researched it for several months.” [several months, LOL] The host sounded impressed. Hughes had actually flown in a rocket, he noted, whereas astronauts were merely paid actors performing in front of a CGI globe. “John Glenn and Neil Armstrong are Freemasons,” Hughes agreed. “Once you understand that, you understand the roots of the deception.” A flat-Earth GoFundMe subsequently raised nearly $8,000 for Hughes.

    - https://www.washingtonpost....

    Crazy people love funding crazy shit!

  • TheQiwiMan

    Big If True.

    I'm sure that easily half the donations were from people who just want to help get rid of one more FlatEarther.

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