Sounds Right: Flat-Earther Plans To Launch Himself In Homemade Rocket To Prove Earth Isn't Spherical

November 27, 2017


Darwin, stay awake for this one -- it should be good.

California man "Mad" Mike Hughes soon plans on launching himself 1,800-feet above the Mojave Desert aboard a homemade steam-powered rocket (dear God) in an attempt to gather photographic evidence that proves the earth is flat. PROTIP: Buy a weather balloon instead. He was originally scheduled for liftoff last Saturday, but postponed the trip because the Bureau of Land Management caught wind about his little deathwish and banned him from using any public land for the stunt. Plus, you know, "The rocket launcher he had built out of a used motor home 'broke down in the driveway' on Wednesday." No surprises there.

Hughes's ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above the Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on.

"It'll shut the door on this ball earth," Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday's flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

Dare to dream, folks -- that's the real message here. Even in the face of insurmountable scientific evidence against you -- dare to dream your stupid, stupid dream. Plus die doing what you love and believe in. And he's definitely going to die here, just so we're clear. The other flat-earthers will claim he was killed by the government in a coverup, but deep down, everyone will know the man couldn't build a decent rocket for shit.

Thanks to Ryan and Bambi, who agree flat-earthers should at least insist the planet is a Möbius strip.

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