In 'Thanks for finally taking my angry letters seriously' news, Hidden Valley has announced they'll start selling their Original Ranch in 5-liter mini kegs. Keg stands! Although, technically, the Ranch doesn't actually come in the keg, but for $50 they'll sell you the empty keg and 5-liters of ranch for you to dump in the top yourself. AND DUMP I SHALL. I put ranch on everything. You ever brushed your teeth with ranch before bed? My girlfriend hates it but my dog loves it and tries to eat my breath.
Keep going for a shot of the previously posted $110 Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain, which will come with a BONUS Christmas-tree style skirt if you order one this holiday season.
Thanks to WickedTom, who just challenged me to a ranch drinking contest and is about to learn a thing or two from a man who sweats buttermilk.