That US Vs Japan Giant Mecha Battle Finally Happened, Could Not Have Been More Underwhelming

October 18, 2017


In the works since 2015, that U.S.-based Megabots vs Japan's Suidobashi Heavy Industry mecha battle finally happened, and my goodness was it pathetic. It ranks right up there with your parents forgetting your birthday. I've seen more exciting Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot fights. Even Hungry Hungry Hippos. They could have filmed the whole thing in black and white and convinced me it happened sixty years ago. It's like a BattleBots fight except the robots are giant, entirely underpowered, and struggle to cause any real damage to each other. I want my money back. "You didn't pay anything." I invested TIME, which is the most valuable resource of all. "Your time is worthless." Hmm, I did watch the TV Guide channel for three hours last night.

Keep going for the video, but the first battle starts at 8:20, second battle at 13:20 and final battle at 19:50 (the most exciting, complete with fake set knock-down), and I really can't recommend watching any more than those parts.

Thanks to Aleks, Andreas and Nate, who agree it would have been a lot more exciting to just watch two tanks do battle.

  • David Shire

    an infinitely better but also smaller robot fight. The fun starts at 3:00

  • I actually liked it. It was two real humans in two real giant robots. And they were doing real damage. Scary shit. I think the part where there is a person inside is is A) Why it ups the anty WAY up, and B) a bit ironically also why the action was kinda lacking.

    They even said they couldn't go full speed without actually murdering the poor guy. I am totally in if they keep this going. Not sure how they could keep doing this while ensuring the safety of the pilots though. It would have to be more like robot jox and make it a national sport where the pilots dying in each battle is basically assumed.

  • Chris Clark

    So, they each had "cannon's" that shoot things that are completely ineffective? Well done guys.... -_-

  • Talon184

    Shaking the camera around somehow did NOT make it more exciting

  • wow even Real Steel was more enjoyable than this..

  • Andyman7714

    We have a long way to go, folks.

  • TheQiwiMan

    "Could Not Have Been More Underwhelming"

    Perfectly said.

  • GeneralDisorder

    If we were putting giant robots up against each other without people inside it could have been far more interesting. And of course you need to have them fight on a tank range so they can use artillery and fire on each other.

  • Wonfis

    Totally. Get some real weapons on there, remote piloting, and have both teams expect to never see their robot again after it goes in.

  • GeneralDisorder

    You could maybe also find some people willing to die for entertainment. They'll have to be skilled equipment operators and also know how to inflict damage on other robot suits. It'd be tough to find people who meet the qualifications and would also risk their life for other people's amusement.

  • NikkolaiV

    I'd go with the remote piloting more...maybe in an enclosed cockpit with actuators so it can at least simulate the movement. You'd get the same level of excitement, plus, you know, not so much a blood sport at that point. More of an oil sport, or maybe hydraulic fluid...

  • Wonfis

    No way. Real weapons, you're practically guaranteed to have a death. No industry is sustainable with a 50% chance of survival. Even gladiators rarely fought to the death. Even WAR gives you much better odds.

  • Doog

    This is why CGI is so necessary. Could you imagine how lame the Transformer's Movie franchise would be with crap like this? I don't care how big an explosion Michael Bay through at this video, it's still gonna look sad.

  • Darren John Haden Ford

    Was ok. But who the fuck let the americans direct trying to make it look like transformers i just wanted to see a fight not stupid fast cut camera angles and a ridiculousness commentary booth.

  • Jenness

    Because the Japanese version included holographic anime characters running around with their own commentary superimposed on top of the battle with animated "pow" "bam" and other effects

  • Souichirou

    Sorry to break your bubble but the animated "pow" and "bam" comes from your old batman series with Adam west.... so lets just get that out of the way first.

  • Jenness
  • Big Dog on Krampus

    i laughed when that little drone came out

  • Bling Nye

    I laughed when it got slapped down.

  • Bling Nye

    I like how they added action and drama by having the commentators flee their booth before it got crushed by the AMAZING ROBOT BATTLE MAYHEM!!!11!!1!!

    That was boring as fuck to watch, I can only imagine the goddamn snoozefest filming it was.

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