Real Products That Exist: The Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle Holder

October 31, 2017

This is the Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle holder available from Firebox (~$40). You just burn a red candle (it comes with two) inside Eleven's head and the red wax drips out here nose -- just like blood when she uses her psychokinetic abilities in the show! It also comes with a "handy nose picker tool to remove blockages," presumably because paperclips are hard to come by for some people. CHECK YOUR JUNK DRAWER. I actually needed a safety pin the other day and -- I shit you not -- my junk drawer failed me. "Shocking." I was devastated. "Truly heartbreaking." Thank God I go to therapy tomorrow so I can work through it. Or, I should say, thank God I'm supposed to go to therapy tomorrow before I call to cancel first thing in the morning because I Halloween'd too hard. You know how I roll. "In a golf cart on the sidewalk." Lock your middle-age daughters up, moms, I'm a bad boy.

Keep going for a couple more shots.



Thanks to Lucinda, for reminding me to order a humidifier so I don't get as many bloody noses this winter.

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