Woman Gets Stuck Trying To Retrieve The Turd She Threw Out A Tinder Date's Bathroom Window

September 6, 2017


A woman on a Tinder date with student Liam Smith in Bristol, England recently had to be rescued from a bathroom window by firemen after becoming stuck trying to retrieve the turd she attempted to throw out the window after it wouldn't flush. Apparently the turd didn't fully exit the bathroom, but rather just dropped between the first window and another, non-opening window. Well that's unfortunate.

"We'd had a really nice evening," he said. "We'd had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant [Nando's?!], had a few beers and then gone back to mine for a bottle of wine and a film."

He said the woman went to the toilet and when she came back she had a "panicked look in her eye" and told him what she had done.

He said the toilet window opened into a narrow gap separated by another double glazed window.

"It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo," he said.

He went to find a hammer to smash the window, but she decided to "climb in head first" after the "offending package" and became jammed.

"I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window."

Beautifully, the couple has already gone on a second date since the incident, proving that even a shitty first date can still lead to romance. After all, according to Liam, "We've already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first." Valid point. Although he's a better man than I because I seriously doubt I'm going on a second date with anybody who bare-hands a turd on the first one.

Keep going for a news report about the incident, complete with all of Liam's great quotes.

Thanks to Twumpybum, who agrees if this ever happens to you on a date your best bet is just hiding the turd in the toilet tank.

  • Andrew L. Yi

    "Thanks to Twumpybum, who agrees if this ever happens to you on a date your best bet is just hiding the turd in the toilet tank."

    I prefer the term: Upper Decker.


  • Guesticle

    what kind of ridiculous thoughtprocess is this? you've picked it up, so just break it in half and flush again. (repeat until it either flushes or the toilet clogs)

  • TheQiwiMan

    Fake story is fake. They were playin with her poo and things just got out of hand. Look at that dude's smile and tell me he's not a fecalphile.

  • Draco Basileus

    Guess we found out who #2 works for.

  • Adibobea9

    Wow, the guy handled the shitutation rather well considering how hilarious it was. He was even respectful in his explanation, but I doubt he'll continue dating her…

  • Closet Nerd

    "Smell my finger"

  • Jenness

    This is almost as bad as the date who accidentally stepped on and killed a beloved toy yorkshire terrier at a dinner at her BF's parents house. How can this chick get a 2nd date though? That's like the most amazing part to me LOL

  • GeneralDisorder

    She sounds like a keeper to me. Except for the fact she lives in the UK. Pass!

  • And what is wrong with the UK?

  • GeneralDisorder

    Well, I'm not there. So... that doesn't help matters.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I'm sure you're a keeper too.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    at least he knows she's down for that kinda stuff now

  • James Mcelroy

    As shitty dates go, that's not the shittiest, i'd say it was #2.

  • James Mcelroy

    sorry everyone.

  • Irina Abramovich

    Here I am logging into my other account, under a disguised name, to write about how fat afterooster's fat wife is:

    I heard afterooster's wife went on a date with afterooster and brought her own farm with her to grill chicken sausages and beef links and drink fresh milk from the cows and eat fresh eggs from chickens. She also made her own chicken liver paste!! Yummy!=) Afterward, afterooster and his wife went to the theater and ate homemade candy for two hours and laughed at fat jokes in the movie, like, "how did that person fit into the skintight suit to be a sidekick?" It's just like afterooster and his wife!!=) Teammates forever!!=)

    <3 Thomas

    Hubree: I saw you on Too Cute with kittens!!=)=)=)
    Irina: You're a precious angel!

  • Enkidu98

    Are you embarrassed?? you look flushed.

  • James Mcelroy

    Flushed isn't my thing, more down and out than embarrassed.

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