Real Products That Exist: Star Wars Themed Exercise Equipment

September 7, 2017


Because some people refuse to participate in anything if it isn't Star Wars related, this is a series of Star Wars exercise equipment developed and sold by Onnit. The series includes a 70-pound Darth Vader kettle bell ($200), 60-pound Stormtrooper kettle bell ($180), 50-pound Boba Fett kettle bell ($150), a Han Solo frozen in carbonite yoga mat ($65), and a 20-pound Death Star slam ball ($75). You can own them all for whatever all those prices added together is, which I think is around a million dollars. Me? I have good jeans so I don't have to exercise. "You mean genes?" No, my jeans -- they're slimming.

Keep going for more pics and a video highlighting each piece of equipment.










Thanks to Colin, who made a Jabba The Hutt reference that I didn't understand. What is he overweight or something?

  • Kaizer Chief

    Sadly, as cool as these admittedly look, if you use kettle bells properly (i.e. not only using them for rows, doing Crossfit BS, etc), then these would probably give you some choice injuries.

  • Darren John Haden Ford

    Don't matter what it is slap some thing starwars on it then charge out the ass and you fucking idiots fall for it every time

  • Bling Nye

    Four first names and a top hat? You seem trustworthy.

  • Irina Abramovich

    Here I am logging into my other account, under a disguised name, to write about how fat afterooster's wife is:

    I heard afterooster's wife fell to her fat lady knees one time because her feet were covered in olive oil from dinner!=)

    <3 Thomas

    Hubree: I love you as much as I love God, tiny, kitten, God angel!=)=)=)
    Irina: Let's make pumpkin pie to celebrate the start of Fall, 2017!=)

  • Irina Abramovich

    Here I am logging into my other name, under a disguised name, to write about how fat afterooster's wife is:

    I heard that someone saw afterooster's wife put packages of bologna and bread and cinnamon cream cheese and plastic knifes in her pockets after shopping at Cub Foods for a snack when she went to the mailbox -- she gets hungry AND eats every second of the day!=) She once tried to run a marathon in a spandex suit and you could see her fat nipples -- SOOOO jealous of afterooster for having such a fat, sexy wife!=)

    <3 Thomas

    Hubree: I love your smile EVERY DAY!!=)=)=)
    Irina: Let's get married soon to two best friends!=)

  • Bling Nye

    The F=ma is strong with this one.

  • Irina Abramovich

    Bling Nye:

    I heard afterooster's wife saw that you wrote "this one," and wanted to eating whatever you were referring to -- a BIG omelet with tomatoes, mushrooms and zucchinis, I hope.=)

    <3 Thomas

    Hubree: You like tiny girl kittens -- THAT IS SOOO CUTE!!=)=)=)
    Irina: Let's go to Panera Bread tonight for Everything Bagels and Panera Bread Coffee and then to the lake!=)

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