This is a timelapse video of Youtuber Andre F completing the 5.25-foot x 18.5-foot 33,600 piece 'Wildlife' jigsaw puzzle (previously: somebody making a video game themed stop motion video with the same puzzle) over the course of mine months. For reference, you could have produced a baby in the same time. Me? My sperm is so strong it produces full-grown adults in only two months. The government wanted to use me to breed an army of supersoldiers but I told them I wasn't interested. Plus, you know, I made the whole thing up and my sperm actually just chase their tails until they pass out and die from exhaustion, usually still in my balls.
Keep going for the video while I search for clues as to who stole this man's desk and computer.
Thanks to Ayesha, who agrees this guy clearly doesn't have any children or pets.