These are the £2,000 (~$2,625) Saint Laurent stiletto roller skates. They're perfect for the woman looking to fashionably break both ankles. Did you know I'm a really good roller skater? Because I am. I even have my own street skates and sometimes I roller skate around the neighborhood for exercise. People are always yelling at me from their car windows and I like to pretend they're positive, inspirational messages instead of the horrible things they're actually saying.
Thanks to MSA, who, wait -- did you hear that? It was the couple skate bell, we have to couple skate now!