Man Dual-Wielding Axes Goes Nuts Splitting Logs

August 15, 2017

Personal Record Log Splitting

Seen here looking like the exact kind of person I'd want on my side in the event of a tree zombie apocalypse, this is a video of some intrepid outdoorsman setting his own personal record for log-splitting by dual-wielding axes and going absolutely nuts. How he didn't cut off both legs is beyond me, because I'm afraid to look and see if I still have legs below my knees and all I did was watch the video. That looks dangerous. Definitely something my mom would yell at me for if she ever caught me doing. Also: dragging my brother up and down the stairs in a sleeping bag.

Keep going for the whole video, which is almost eight minutes of log-splitting madness.

Thanks to Gunball, who agrees he should have tied axes to his legs for BONUS CHOPPING POWER.

  • captaindash

    This guy probably can't masterbate or his immensely powerful wrists would destroy his manhood. I can't imagine that type of workout. Damn.

  • This music, i have to say, so perfectly narrated my experience of this video.
    *starts off slow... like buckle up*
    *:25 in music goes matrix* *I gets pumped*
    "Oh shit this guy is gonna murder these logs, fuck yea"
    *1:51 guy falls*
    "Okay this is WIDLY unsafe, but this dude is clearly a madmad"
    *2:55 music gets way too reflective*
    "How is this guy still alive?"
    "How does he still have toes?"
    "Why does this guy exist in the first place?"
    "WTF am I doing even watching this?"
    *4:00... music goes matrix* *PUMPED AGAIN*
    "Fuck it, we got a mission here... still lots of conveniently aisled stumps to murder"
    *5:00 music goes matrix AND reflective* *INTROSPECTIVELY PUMPED*
    *5:36 the big reveal: he has what can I can best describe as the inbred lovechild of a mohawk and a mullet* *So fucking pumped*
    *5:53 FUCK GLASSES*
    *6:00 Music gets slow... like REAL slow*
    "Okay wait... what, I'm still watching this? Like 6 minutes of this dude hacking shit"
    "Like what is his fucking life before this? What is his motivation? How did he get here?"
    "What is my motivation?"
    "Do my parents love me?
    "What does it all mean! WHY AM I STILL WATCHING THIS?! WHAT IS HIS MISSON!??!!!"
    *7:29 Snot Rocket*
    "Alright well... just a dude that fuckin HATES wood I guess..."

  • He has just as many or more misses / multi hits to split as good clean hits. I wonder if he'd actually be faster using two hands.

  • Kane Harrison

    He moves like something out of a Jurassic Park movie.

  • Jenness

    I'm ridiculously impressed by this. Most dudes I know will whine about taking out the trash. I do it and I always end up tearing a hole and that nasty garbage juice gets on me. Meh. Fake the shadows are all wrong and photoshop - dudes like this don't exist. lmfao

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    I reserve the right to be impressed when he does a hard wood species.

  • jodyberry

    The snot-blow at the end was like the cherry on top!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Anyone else remember The Matrix? Because that song is from The Matrix. You know... that one-off movie that kicked a lot of ass. Wonder why they never made any sequels. Too bad. I bet they would have been good.

  • Mark

    If there's a zombie apocalypse, I want him in my group.

  • Bling Nye

    You sure? Seems like the kind of guy that would hack your leg and leave you as a distraction so he could escape.

  • Perpetual Pizza

    better than a rage room

  • Perhaps if he got laid he'd feel better.

  • Bling Nye

    Pretty much a cure-all.

  • steve holt

    I have a little "mother in law problem" I'd like to talk to him about.

  • GeneralDisorder

    You could always get divorced. That solved my mother-in-law problem. She can't chop wood either.

  • TheQiwiMan

    You wanna lose a foot? Cuz that's how you lose a foot, kids.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Most Folk'll never lose a toe. But then again some folk'll.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    This looks sped up as one of the youtube comments says, so it makes me think this was stolen from elsewhere and the speeding up made it look like a crazed demon along with the fact Youtube won't pick up on the stolen material.

  • Stolen or not, it's really impressive that he had the stamina to do that. Chopping wood is not easy even with one axe and two hands on it...and only splitting a few logs. This guy did dozens upon dozens, exhibiting force twice as powerful with a single arm. That's bananas.

  • The_Wretched

    His joints & tendons aren't going to be thanking him.

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