Note: You can go to Entertainment Weekly and save the copy they have there for a gigantic 4,864 x 3243 version in case you want to scour the pic for Easter eggs.
Okay, first of all, it's not actually Parzival, it's Wade Watts with his OASIS visor and haptic gloves on in what I assume is his hideout in the Stacks, which looks nothing like how I imagined it because that van is bigger and nicer than my apartment. Also, I thought Wade was supposed to be out of shape until he moves into his apartment and starts to exercise. This kid reminds me of that badass Lucas Barton from The Wizard with his bitchin' Power Glove. Basically everything is wrong and the movie is already ruined. I'm not even going to give it a chance. Did I do it right? Am I hating proper now? It doesn't make me feel very good.
Thanks to Linby, who agrees we basically all live our lives inside a social media OASIS already.