Sims Speedrunners Race To See Who Can Get Their Kids Taken By Child Services The Fastest

July 26, 2017


Speedrunners: they're an entirely different species of gamer. And now Sims speedrunners are racing to see who can get their children taken away by child services the fastest. What a time to be alive.

The current record holder, SimplySeze, managed this depressing task in about fifteen and a half minutes. The entire speedrun requires you to meet another sim, be impregnated by them, have the baby, and then have the baby taken away. The key, after you impregnate your sim, is to get them to sleep as much as possible, which sets the game in a super fast forward. The sim will get through the pregnancy and their child's life in a matter of minutes.

There's a video of SimplySeze's speedrun after the jump, complete with her commentary. Highlights include, "Almost in the third trimester guys. Then we just need to have this baby and ignore it." and "Oh! Ahhhh. Due to neglect Josie is being whisked away to safety! Whooooo!! Oh my God that didn't take near as long as I thought it would! Holy crap! That didn't take near as long as I thought it would! Holy crap! Well -- yeah!" A truly inspiring speech, I wish she'd spoken at my high school graduation.

Keep going for the video, but skip to 3:12 for the record speedrun.

Thanks to Marcus O, who plans on setting the speedrun record for having sex with every other player in the game.

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