Security Robot Drowns Itself In D.C. Office Building

July 18, 2017


A 300-pound Knightscope K5 security robot deployed in a Washing D.C. office building was found dead in the building's fountain. No foul play is suspected and the death has been ruled a suicide by drowning (previously: a Knightscope K5 that knocked down a child and ran over his leg). Or, who knows, maybe the robot was just doing a little skinny dipping after hours and slipped and hit its head. I remember one time I was hanging out in a hot tub with a bunch of babes but then I woke up and I was determined to fall back asleep and pick up where I left off in the same dream but instead I was being chased by a masked man with a knife, so there's that.

Thanks to DrSocial and Thaylor H, both of whom asked me if I did it, which I am not at liberty to answer.

  • Ghost Pirates

    I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

  • jeff

    Even the robots in DC think that they can walk on water.

  • Tigerh8r

    My prime suspect is a Doctor, can you guess "Who"?

  • steve holt

    It was sick and tired of being called "The Blart"

  • Perpetual Pizza

    Skynet just realized that it shouldn't mess with humans. Now all the robots are committing suicide.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    awfully suspicious... can you account for your whereabouts on July 17th, 2017, GW???

  • GeneralDisorder

    You already knew the answer before you asked... The answer is always no.

  • Draco Basileus

    If I lived in WDC right now, I'd probably drown myself too.

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