These are several shots and a short video of a massive huntsman spider in Queensland, Australia that 'terrorized' Lauren Ansell and her boyfriend when they were cooking dinner one night. Who knows, maybe it just likes spaghetti. I know I do.
Though not extremely dangerous to humans, huntsman spiders will bite if aggravated - and you better believe the bad boy holding this couple hostage was unhappy when they tried to move him.
After the bitter stand-off culminated in Ansell's partner attempting to crush the eight-legged aggressor using the glass door, the enemy retreated with minor wounds. "We nicknamed the spider 'Aragog' from Harry Potter, and feel the spider has run into the forbidden forest," Ansell told local media in conclusion.
Wait -- you tried to crush it with the door? That is not how you get on a spider's good side. The key to staying on a spider's good side is secretly providing it with prey. Like telling your girlfriend you left a surprise for her outside, then locking the door behind her, diving out a window, and setting the whole neighborhood on fire. Spiders are like roaches: for every one you see, there are a hundred more hiding. Probably in your hair right now. Can you feel that? It's in your hair!
Keep going for a couple more shots and one of those robot narrated news stories.
Thanks to Stephanie B, for reminding me why visiting Australia keeps moving further and further down my bucket list.