For Sale: A Lifesize Xenomorph Queen Replica

May 3, 2017

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This is the 16-foot tall Xenomorph queen lawn sculpture/foyer greeter available on Ebay for $75,000. It was created using the original molds for the alien queen from Alien, as indicated by this shitstorm of caps lock:

ONLY 5 OF THESE CRAZY LARGE QUEENS WERE MADE BY DISTORTIONS BACK IN 90'S. USED FROM THE MOLDS THAT FOX OWNED AND LICENCED BY DISTORTIONS, THEY MADE FIVE BUT THEY DECIDED TO MOLD THE FACE AND CROWN TOGETHER FOR SOME REASON. THERE FOR IT WASNT SCREEN ACCURATE AND JAMES CAMERON WAS FURIOUS. SO THEY FIXED THE MOLD AND MADE JUST ONE PROPERLY. THIS ONE HAD THE MOLDED FACE AND CROWN, BUT HAS SINCE BEEN MODIFIED AND A WHOLE NEW FACE SCULT WITH PROPER TENDONS FROM THE CROWN TO THE CHIN OF THE FACE. AMAZING, DETAIL AND ACCURACY. NOW THIS QUEEN HAS HAD A COMPLETE MAKE OVER AND CUSTOM PAINT JOB INCLUDING STEEL LEG STAND TO HELP STAND THE QUEEN UPRIGHT. BUT THIS PROP IS OVER 20 YEARS OLD, IT IS NOT IN MINT CONDITION, AND HAS SOME IMPERFECTIONS, BUT THAT BEING SAID SHE IS THE BEST CONDITION QUEEN THAT YOU WILL EVER FIND AND ONE OF THE ORIGINAL FIVE MADE. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER SEEN ONE OF THESE FOR SALE AND IN SUCH GOOD CONDITION. MOST IMPORTANTLY ITS A LICENSED PRODUCT!!!!"

Cool, but I'm also going to need a life-size Ripley in a Power Loader to compliment the alien queen. I'm thinking I'll pose them lunging at each other from opposite sides of the stairs leading to my mansion, like two stone lions. "You don't have a mansion." No, but these are like, long-term goals. "You will never have a mansion." That's not true, I just crunched the numbers, and if I continue saving and investing at the rate I am now-- "Yeah?" I need to live to 800.

Keep going for a handful of closeups.

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Thanks to Skip, who's holding out for an alien queen that's twice life-size to really impress the neighbors.

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