Starbucks Releasing A Flavor-Changing 'Unicorn Frappuccino'

April 18, 2017


According to industry insiders (read: Starbucks employees on Reddit and Twitter), Starbucks will be releasing a flavor-changing 'Unicorn Frappuccino' tomorrow, Wednesday, April 19th. The drink will only be available for a limited time, and looks like a liquified unicorn turd in a plastic cup. Per Kotaku writer Mike Fahey, who was able to try one this weekend, presumably while I was drunk Saturday night hiding Easter eggs to find when I woke up Sunday morning. So far I have found zero (I'm an incredible hider when I'm drunk):

It's a cup full of coloring, sour and evil intent. I missed the mango initially due to the color and the somewhat apple-y sour tricking my taste buds into thinking I was drinking something else. Once the sour (mostly) faded, the Unicorn Frappuccino mainly made me wish I'd gotten a straight up mango one instead.

Yeah, that doesn't sound very good. Still, will that stop me from spending $6 of the $25 Starbucks gift card my aunt got me for my birthday on one? Yes, it actually will. Sometimes you really don't need to try something to know you're not going to like it. Take Girl Scout Cookies for example. "You're joking right?" Nope, never tried them. "You have a Samoa tramp stamp." You saw that when I bent over, huh? "Sure did." I'm thinking about getting a matching Tagalong on my neck.

Thanks to Christine, who informed me the last time she ordered a drink it Starbucks the cup read 'Kris Teen' That is valuable information, thank you.

  • Fingal Carson

    Oh great. Another billion-gram sugar concoction for hipsters to slurp down, gag over, and put vomit warnings on for views.
    I can't believe people give these trends the time of day.

  • Bling Nye

    Is this what coffee has come to?

  • The_Wretched

    Man, Starbucks really has a hate-on for christianianity. The war on christmas is real and on-going! Quick, page "one million"moms.

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