This is a video from the uninsurable folks at Youtube channel Hellthy Junk Food documenting the construction of a burger with a pizza inside the patty, and pizzas for buns. Me? You'd swear I have two slabs of chiseled granite for buns. "They look like cottage cheese." Only when I clench them. Man, college me would have been all over this burger. Now? Now I have to eat healthy because my metabolism has slowed to a snail's pace and I'm gaining weight by the hour. I swear by the time I leave work today I'll be a different pant size. And the exercise regimen my doctor has me on doesn't seem to do anything. All I have to look forward to anymore are cheat days. "Let me guess -- every day that ends in Y?" No -- every day that begins with me sobbing in the shower. "So....." Let's say five days a week.
Keep going for the entirely too-long video, so feel free to skip around.
Thanks to Linc, who agrees Celeste pizzas and Cup Noodles are the basis of a healthy college diet.