Dammit Mother Nature, Calm Down: An Alligator Biting Another Alligator's Head

April 26, 2017


Seen here looking like some foreplay I want absolutely no part of, this is a video from the 18th hole of a golf course in North Carolina of a 12-foot alligator biting and refusing to let go of an 8-foot alligator's head, despite the second gator clearly trying to use their safe word. Or maybe they're fighting over who gets to eat the ball some golfer sliced into the water hazard. Whatever the case, I would not be standing that close to them. You never know when they could join forces and decide humans don't bite back. Except me -- I'm like Jaws. Not Jaws the shark though, Jaws from the James Bond movies, who actually bites and kills a shark in this scene from The Spy Who Loved Me. Sadly, no spies have ever loved me. They all just pretend to so they can milk me for government secrets, then leave me tied to a hotel bed for housekeeping to find. "Did they at least sex you first?" No, but Natalya did have the decency to rent me an adult movie before stealing my briefcase and leaving, although Uncle Sam footed the bill because the hotel had my government credit card on file. *shrug* Just your hard-earned tax dollars at work.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to

  • Jenness

    Sure, they seem like they're fighting but...

  • Draco Basileus

    Looks like a domestic dispute. Call the sheriff and let one of them sleep it off in the county jail.

  • GeneralDisorder

    To quote an advertising jingle that I can't fathom why I remember "What could be greater than golf with a gator?"

  • Frédéric Purenne

    The issue is that it can't say the safe word because its mouth is kept shut.

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