All Better: Man In Russia Attempts To Fix Pedestrian Crossing Light With A Stick

April 19, 2017


This is some dash-cam footage from Russia of a Good Samaritan attempting to fix a flickering crosswalk sign with stick. Things do not go according to plan, unless his plan was SPOILER: to knock the whole damn pole over. it safe to cross now or what? Now I'm not saying whoever installed that crosswalk did a bad job, because I would have done the exact same job, and I'd like to pretend the jobs I do aren't bad, even though not so deep down I know they're terrible. You know what I got on my last performance review at work? "Fired." Not only fired, they wanted me to pay back a year and a half worth of wages. Obviously, I told them they'd have to take that up with my lawyer, who is actually me wearing glasses and carrying a briefcase. "What's in the briefcase?" Comic books and sandwiches cut diagonally.

Hit the jump for the video while I inspect all the crosswalks in my neighborhood for structural integrity.

Thanks to Zootghost, who's smart enough to know if you really want to fix a crosswalk, you're going to need a special crosswalk fixing stick, not just one you pick up off the ground all willy-nilly.

  • Jenness

    Russia did it....oh wait, can I still blame Russia if it's Russian or do they blame us now?
    Глупый Обама. Всегда взламывать матушку-Россию

  • Humphrey Bogart

    you know the other difference between my convictions and yours? My shit is real. Your shit is a joke. Your yellow ass is understandable I guess. I usually go quiet and most times disappear when I crack a bad joke and nobody laughs.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    כלבה הומו I really wish you and I shared the same cowardice, to back out of talking shit without any follow up or owning up for your opinions. I enlisted on 09/01/01, ten days before 9/11. Had I an ounce of your weak convictions, I would have gone AWOL on 09/11 and saved myself a lot of shit. Instead, I get to live a life of disability, surrounded by assholes. Boy was my patriotism sorely mistaken. I guess all I can do at this point is pray that Karma sends you a dead beat dad (shouldn't be hard to find in Texas) and you and your little shit taco starve to death on unlivable wages for the rest of the shitty little life you created.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    aw, look at this cute little idiot texan trying to talk shit using Russian in Google Translate, still blaming Obama for everything. You probably blame Obama for 9/11 too. You know who I blame for sending me to Iraq over propaganda and lies? You. Fuck You. Serving you was the biggest mistake of my life.

  • Jenness

    I've got a gimp suit and ball gag in my basement with your name on it since you enjoy being such a whiny complainer. Then you can serve me and be actually feel useful and not be so emo.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    ¡Mira esta perra débil! Ella debe volver a su vida de la trata de personas y drogas y dejar la conversación de la política internacional y el conflicto a los adultos. Hasta entonces, debería callarse.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    what happened? did a disabled veteran catch your shitty little tongue? Stupid bitch. You are the reason why Trump is in office and such an overwhelming number of Americans keep telling shit stains like you to go back to Mexico. Thanks for being today's douchebag to remind me how enlisting and serving this dysfunctional shithole country was a huge mistake.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    calling a disabled veteran with ptsd from serving in Iraq, "not useful" or "emo" really makes you sound like a degenerate moron. You really ought to check yourself. Better yet, just commit suicide.

  • Humphrey Bogart

    but before you kill yourself, make sure you beat the ever living dogshit out of your mother's nasty snatch. She obviously failed at raising a decent, compassionate human being and needs to be sterilized.

  • jodyberry

    Look closely to see the great job city maintenance did by propping up the pole with a STICK!

  • GeneralDisorder

    Russia. Not even once.

  • Big McLargehuge

    And on that day, zero fucks were given.

  • TheQiwiMan


    Okay, that got me. Was not expecting that. (glad I didn't read before watching, that would have ruined the whole thing!)

  • Frédéric Purenne

    That's right, reap the benefits of my warnings.

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