What The Hell Are Those?: $95 Mom Jeans With Clear Knee Panels

March 15, 2017


Because the world is rapidly approaching its use-or-freeze-by date, these are the Clear Knee Mom Jeans manufactured by Top Shelf and available from Nordstrom. Their "Slick plastic panels bare your knees for a futuristic feel in tapered and cropped high-waist jeans." Admittedly, they do look practical for showing off your knee tattoos when you don't feel like wearing shorts. Still, $95? I've never paid more than $70 for a pair of jeans, and I only paid that because the girl at vintage clothing store swore to me they used to belong to Jim Morrison and he once pissed himself in them. There is some convincing staining and a smell. I'll let you sniff them, but don't take them all the way out of the bag.

Keep going for several more shots of the jeans.




Thanks to Dazed, who agrees you should get your mom a pair of these, she'll love them.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    I figured most humans had object permanence pretty much down by the time they'd be large enough for these jeans to fit them... "Wait, where are my KNEES!?" "Oh, *there* they are!"

  • Now there is a model who is re-evaluating her life.

  • Jeremy Tilton

    This is actually kind of great for someone like myself. I find knees sexy, but shins disgust me.

  • TheQiwiMan

    We need more of this kinda thing. Sometimes I talk to people for several minutes before learning they are completely insane, this could save me some time.

  • Bubbubsky

    Why did they get a skinny 12-year-old boy to model mom jeans?

  • Chaz Gomez

    I would've thought these would be selling off of Gwenyth Paltrow's GOOP site...

  • Josh Haas

    They're Homeopathic
    The power of the Sun will heal Arthritis right up

  • The_Wretched

    Soo you can check to see if mom's been on her knees all day?

  • GeneralDisorder

    Replace knee windows with knee pads. Replace jeans with... thong. Replace the whole thing with something that actually looks good. Or serves a purpose.

  • What to do with 8 tons of surplus mom jeans?... CREATE A FUCKING REVOLUTION. -Some marketing douche about to get a corner office.

  • Titty McNipplefondler

    I wish they made these for men so I flash my peen in public.

  • The plastic is at the knee... you are really giving yourself some credit.

  • Jon
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