Because Parrotheads, like mot birds, like to fly south for the winter, there's a Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville retirement community ('Latitude Margaritaville') opening in Daytona Beach, Florida in 2018. Prefurnished homes will start in the low $200k's (that's reasonable) and I'm going to move there and start a new life as cougar bait. And by cougar bait I mean sabertooth tiger bait. Don't call me if you're under 100.
The $1 billion walkable community will have 6,900 homes, 200,000-square-feet of retail, a pool, fitness center, and beach shuttle. On its face, that might not sound much different from the average Florida retirement community, but Latitude Margaritaville will also be "an immersive brand experience" with an outdoor music venue and "signature Margaritaville food and beverage concepts."
Ah yes, you can never have too many 'signature Margaritaville food and beverage concepts'. What is this, a blue mango-habanero margarita with gummi sharks in it? I love it, I'll take two. But can you put them in a to-go cup -- Esther called on me to pay her a special visit and she's already living on borrowed time. *leaning across bar to whisper* I'll write you into her will if you can tell me where she keeps it.
Keep going for a handful of Golf Magazine boner-pill ad style shots.
"Haha, who are you? Let go of my hand!"
Thanks to Cyndi M, who informed me I can't live there because there's a difference between unemployment and retirement.