Tell Me More In Great Detail: Tyrannosaurus Rex 'Was A Sensitive Lover'

March 30, 2017


In news that has me more excited to finish construction of my time machine than ever before, a new study suggests that t-rexes may have been sensitive lovers, rubbing their snouts (which scientists believe to be as sensitive as human fingertips) on each other as an act of foreplay. *shivers* Did anybody else just get goosebumps? No? What about a boner? Seriously - nobody? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Writing in the journal Scientific Reports, the US authors describe how the sensitive skin may have proved crucial to the dinosaur's mating success. "In courtship, tyrannosaurids might have rubbed their sensitive faces together as a vital part of pre-copulatory play," they explain.

Okay, so maybe t-rexes have a bit of a sensitive 'pre-copulatory play.' But what about the actual sex? Do you think they nibble each other's necks? Blow in their ears? Role play? I'm only asking because I just want my first time to be perfect.

Thanks to DocTed, who I'm really hoping is a real doctor and can help identify this rash.

  • David Bass

    What has he done for you lately? Seriously, why are we still talking about dinosaurs like we need to remember how to spell, dinosaur?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Or they "may" not have. How is this news? Saying something "may have" been true is not conveying any actual information.

    "18th century clowns may have played fancy Baroque percussion rhythms on the nipples of stray dogs". <-- that conveys an equal amount of information.

  • Jenness

    I'm telling you it's called the "Let's justify our funding" game and over time the rules are 1) Get high or drunk as hell with your other researcher friends 2)Pull up 4Chan 3)Start making up the craziest shit based on all the psycho anime/hentai/gore/vore/cesspool threads they find mixed with their area of interest (in this case dinosaurs) and then 3) the REAL research is trolling whitepapers and unfounded research papers they can find to loosely tie other bullshit to their bullshit and 4) Put it all in the proper format, spell check the hell out of it, put lots of bibliography/footnote/invented research (i.e. a 4Chat thread could be "Exposition of tentacled beasts in medieval Japan: authors (a variation of their screen names) and dates. 5) Turn it in and then make sure the moment anyone seems dubious to be as ostensibly patronizing as possible while babbling about their 'credentials' and 'research'.

  • TheQiwiMan

    U woke af, sis.

    Woke AF.

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    so were they playing the music onto the dogs' nipples, or were they playing the dogs' nipples as musical instruments?

    i already presumed the latter and achieved completion btw.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Well considering it "may have" happened or not, I say it's whatever gets you off the most, big boy! :-D

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