Monopoly Ditches Thimble, Wheelbarrow, Shoe Game Tokens For T-Rex, Rubber Ducky, Penguin

March 17, 2017


Following their Token Madness voting contest, Monopoly has announced the discontinuance of the thimble, wheelbarrow and shoe game tokens for new t-rex, rubber ducky and penguin ones. Hey, as long as the top hat made the cut, I won't riot. *takes of balaclava and backpack full of bricks, chugs Molotov cocktail*

Now the top hat, race car and battleship are all that remains of the original lineup, along with 1942's Scottie dog and 2013's unspecified cat.

The replacement tokens will be available in new Monopoly games starting this fall, at which time I'll camp outside Toys Я Us for three nights to make sure I'm first in line. Then I'll buy as many of the new games as they'll let me, and sell them on eBay for less than three-quarters what I paid because nobody actually gives a shit, the end.

Keep going for a couple more shots.



Thanks to Bob, who agrees each token should have a special ability like the t-rex can destroy a house for every trip around GO.

  • captaindash

    Wait...a t-rex reference sans erotica? Who ARE you?

  • TheQiwiMan

    Meh, still no dildo piece. Guess I'll have to keep using mine.

  • Elak Swindell

    They replace three great classic tokens with these ugly things? I'm really surprised the vote came down to those and they won.

  • They also got rid of hope, because there's none left.

  • Nicholas Conrad

    Linux invades yet another platform FTW.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Doesn't look like Tux though. Looks like Gentoo penguin.

  • Meh

    How do they throw out my shoe. Really this is the worst news i have heard this year.

  • Jenness

    I agree - I liked all three of these. Guess now there will be a market for them and one day your trusty shoe token will be worth a fortune on eBay.

  • This is the worst news?!

  • James Mcelroy

    I like your business model GW. How can i be a part of this exciting opportunity?

  • Geekologie

    You already are

  • D3Fd0ck

    Replacing all the items that people of this day have no clue wtf it is.

    "Thimble? I though it was a small shot glass"

    "Wheelbarrow? What the hell is that for?"

    "Shoes? Who wears that shit anymore? My crocs are better in every way"

  • Crocs are shoes for idiots.
    Like Ugg boots.

  • D3Fd0ck

    crocs are sandals!

  • Ijustsharted

    Thinking modern people mostly wear crocs, where do you live Walmart?

  • D3Fd0ck

    in an old uptight elderly community. walmart? more then enough of them around here within a 10 mile radius, they probably do live there.

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